Law 23, rule 9D at the SCG

Australia's fun authorities have been at it again. From Brisbane to Sydney, each Test venue has had its particular rules and regs but the laws this week top the lot.

The Mexican Wave has already been banned from the SCG but news reaches Nutley of an eye test to eke out possible cricket drunks. A friend was told to lift off his sunglasses from one barman yesterday so he could examine his eyes: if they looked drunk he was told to return to his seat.

The Australian public have seemingly been under these types of everyday laws for a while now. It reminds me of one particular measure put in place by a Sydney suburb last year. Local councillors came up with an idea to pump out 'daggy music' (uncool) to avert youths from the streets late at night. The music in question was Barry Manilow's back catalogue which was put through a loudspeaker at a well-known hotspot in Rockdale, south Sydney.

I doubt whether England's dressing room has been doing the same (It was Ring of Fire last March in India), although Bazza's 1973 single Cloudburst could be the track to save them in this final Test.