Bricks and mortar

If I were lucky enough to own a property situated by a picturesque cricket green, preferably with a typical thatched pub nearby, I would be a happy man. Not so for one resident in the village of Shamley Green, Surrey.

Bungalow owner Michael Burgess has claimed that 24 roof tiles have been broken thanks to the club's bludgeoning batsmen. He has subsequently called in lawyers and wants the club to stop the onslaught onto his house.

Quite rightly, the club say that if you purchase a property in such a location you must be ready for the odd ball to land in your house. Club president Tony Hodgson stated: "'If you don't like klaxons and sirens, you don't move next to a fire station."

It reminds me of a story told by our Kiwi-obsessed Rugby Editor. "A ball was hit for six during a recent charity match and came screaming towards my wife who had her back turned to the game.

"Having seen a couple of balls come towards our direction just previous to this one, I kept an eye on the game just in case. This ball was heading directly towards the back of my wife's head, or so it seemed. I managed to to take three steps towards the ball and stuck my hand out, with a nice cool glass of Pimms in the other hand, to stop the ball from hitting her.

"People around saw what could have happened and after a few pats on the back I was still pretty gutted at what had transpired.

"I didn't catch the ball, spilt the Pimms and my wife was none the wiser."