Top 10 Indian moments

1. The fact it takes Farokh Engineer - who scored his first and last centuries at the Cricket Club of India (CCI) - one hour for the drinks he's ordered to arrive. He must have hinted to the waiter ten times, and when they finally do arrive, Freddie Flintoff moans, saying the glasses are dirty. The table erupts.

2. The "Kevin Pietersen Should Read This Award" for the best road safety sign in Nagpur, which reads: "Patience is heavenly, haste is deadly"

3. Being on the verge of the runs during an interview with Nasser Hussain in Chandigarh.

4. The Bombay jewellery vendor who upped his original offer when I lowered mine.

5. The British professional gambler who bet for three days on Betfair without being caught in the Press Box in Mohali. (Will keep you posted on his 30 March court appearance)

6. Monty Panesar's attempted catch at mid-on during England's heroic last day in Bombay.

7. Celeb corner: Jordan and Peter Andre spotted at the CCI during the Sport Relief cricket match, Stephen Fry at the final Test, and several hundred possible Bollywood actors with slick back hair.

8. The classic Murgh Makhani - my choice of curry in India.

9. Mike Atherton getting mobbed at the Gateway of India - especially the fan who came out with: "Hello sirs, I just have to tell you that I have an unbelievable, 24/7 crazy diet for cricket."

10. The professional road-side bat-makers in Nagpur who scrape a living without local government assistance.

Naked ambition

Middlesex are on a 10-day cricket tour in Mumbai, netting at the World Cricket Academy and playing three games.

Nobok gave a first interview of the season to Middlesex skipper Ben Hutton and what he hopes will also be the last. It was surprising when the stats told how his grandfather, the legendary Sir Len Hutton, never toured India with England.

The man to ask about touring is the Middlesex coach John Emburey. The former spinner toured three times with England, but he was dropped in a few Tests and underbowled in his eyes, while most of the memorable stories usually happened off the field.

***

Bombay is obsessed with celebrity. This week the public's attention has turned to waiting en masse outside the Taj Hotel as the player buses file back from the ground.

They stare blankly, the odd shriek of excitement aside, and stay long after they have ventured indoors. They could no worse than stop on the main road near Chowpatty beach and stare at cricket's star players adorning the big posters.

One features present England captain Andrew Flintoff and Michael Vaughan advertising Kingfisher water, taken from the TV advert they filmed a few weeks ago. The players were given a sneak preview prior to the third Test, a different take on the usual video analysis they go through on these nights.

Flintoff took the whole episode in his stride, but here's the gist. Vaughan and Flintoff are seen in the showers (shoulder up) and the injured captain starts reciting an Indian melody. Freddie tries to repeat it but Vaughan keeps saying he can't get it right. Freddie insists he can do it but fails again.

It could be a serial to rival Beefy's Weetabix ads.

The Wankhede chapter

An announcement was made over the scorer's microphone in the Press Box yesterday - by our very own Nobok Legend Farokh Engineer.

It came shortly after tea and began: "Hi I'm Farokh Engineer. Some of you may remember me...." although he didn't launch in to how he nearly scored a ton before lunch.

He was upset with sections of the Indian crowd and was embarrassed as a Bombayite. Farokh was having a drink with Andrew Flintoff and Matthew Hoggard the previous night and the pair were upset at the abuse the England captain was given on the field. Of the printable banners on view one read "Hoggie is a Doggie".

Booing Sachin Tendulkar and now barraging the England captain? What will happen if the Little Master gets a pair and Freddie does a lap of honour?

***

The Wankhede may look an imposing ground for the players in the middle, but on further inspection things are slightly different.

The Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA) built the Wankhede to take over from the Brabourne as Bombay's primary Test venue in 1975. It holds 50,000, floodlights were installed in 1996, but that's about the size of it.

If you can imagine a sloping glassed squash court then that's what the Press Box resembles. Dried paint which has dripped from hurried workmen is evident on the windows, while around the ground the seats have the same - only there's more dust.

Police security employed by the MCA has also been attendance and the treatment forced MCC president Robin Marlar to walk out in disgust at lunch on the first day; none was laid on anyway.

***

At the close of play press conference, even Indian journalists were amazed at the treatment handed out to the media. Half of the reporters were stopped from hearing what Andrew Strauss had to say, and a fight ensued, involving some British media.

Gatt is back

Nobok legend Mike Gatting turned back the clock yesterday when he led an MCC XI against Afghanistan in Mumbai.

The former England skipper was still sprightly in the field at mid-off despite the Afghans bludgeoning 350-odd off their 40 overs. It needed some stout resistance from Gatt, but when he edged to slip off a 22-year-old quickie and was out for a duck, the team quickly folded.

The Afghan team reportedly had the quickest bowler in Asia while much of the team was made up of former refugess who had crossed the border into Pakistan during the 80s.

***
India have seen their fair share of gold medals at the Commonwealth Games (19 to date) as most of the televised action here has been consigned to the shooting, weight-lifting, hockey and table tennis disciplines.

Now the Games would not be complete without a bit of controversy from the Indian camp. For that we go over to the weight-lifting and a story which bears similar tones to Rahul Dravid's toss last Saturday.

Two of India's female lifters had already broken the Games record in their category and were assured of gold and silver going into the last round. However, it was a botch decision from the coach of eventual silver medalist Andhra Pradesh which cost her top spot.

In her final attempt K Armanath gave her lifter a lesser weight for the silver medal (which she was already guaranteed) rather than go for glory. In the end lost out by 1kg.

***"Raise The Alarm" shouted the Mumbai Mirror; "We got to 100!" lamented Mid Day; "Bring Back Sourav, screams Mumbai" said the Times of India.

England's memorable day in Mumbai meant Black Wednesday for Indian cricket in many of the nationals here, while Freddie Flintoff made the front page and TV news for different reasons.

Four years ago, Flintoff memorably ripped his shirt off and swung it round his head in glory as England defeated India in a thrilling one-day encounter at the Wankhede.

But it was a "New Freddie" which saw a turn around on Wednesday when he told Kevin Pietersen to go back and change into his Test whites from his blue singlet before the presentations.

Rod Gilmour in Mumbai

High tide at Wankhede

James Anderson's last-wicket dismissal seemed a bit soft yesterday.

England were bowled out for 400; but the tourists might have had a cunning plan up their sleeves.

They were all out shortly after 2:05pm here, and, in the words of Ray Parker Jr, something strange happens in the (Marine Drive) neighbourhood around that time.

According to those cricket lovers who live close to the Wankhede Stadium, the pitch favours the bowlers between 2 and 3 in the afternoon.

This is 'high tide' time as the sea is a 30 second walk from the stadium, the same with the Cricket Club of India, just a five minute stroll down the coast.

During this hour 'indipping' is known to occur in the humidity: the ball can suddenly drift in towards a batsman, even though the bowler has intended his delivery as an outswinger.

Chandu Borde, the former Indian all-rounder, used to stay in a hotel right next to the stadium when he played here in the 60s, and swore by it. Sachin Tendulkar was also out for a duck a few years ago in the same afternoon period.

So what was the result yesterday? Tea was taken at 2:40, India had made 8 for 0 in their reply and then their three wickets fell after 3pm. Humbug!

Plain bazaar

Behind the Taj Hotel there is a long stretch of stalls known as Colaba Market. Haggling for some jewellery off these wise Indian vendors is a fine art, but I soon found my way and by the end of the stretch came away happy.

Many of the ex-England players out here have seen their fair share of markets during their touring years, but for Athers it's a more surreal shopping experience he can recall.

England were on a trip up the Khyber Pass in the early 90s and found themselves at a bazaar in the mountains. Not known at the time for their love of cricket in Afghanistan, the players were amazed at what happened next.

Athers and Nasser got off the team bus and ventured into the stalls. The former Lancashire opener takes up the story. "We weren't up for any haggling but remarkably and amazingly everyone knew who we were. They all had their little picture cards with Atherton, Hussain and Thorpe.

"These days the players don't really get out much. The ECB have their own security measures and seem to make it compulsory to keep the players under lock and key. I don't think it is necessary myself but that is the way it goes."

***

Which player will walk away from Mumbai with the sponsor's red motorbike as part of the man of the match prizes? Will Hoggy be seen doing another lap of honour to the dismay of BCCI officials, who now count the Wankhede as the governing body's new home?

Whoever it is, the tax will be waived on the bike as it is seen as a prize and not a gift. Four years ago, however, saw a different story when Sachin Tendulkar was gifted a Ferrari 360 Modeno by Fiat for equalling Sir Don Bradman's record of 29 Test centuries.

The 120 percent import duty was waived by India's Finance Minister after the car was flown in by Air France from Paris the following year. A high court notice was soon issued on the Little Master to pay the outstanding duty, but Sachin still had a fleet to choose from in his garage.

***

The Nobok Legends out in India like nothing better than to kick back with a gin and tonic after a hard day's stint behind the mic.

But their thirst was scuppered in Nagpur when there was no sign of Schweppes' classic yellow India tonic water. They even had to send out their tour operator to find a batch, but all a local could find were a load of Isotonic drinks.

A quick glance in the Taj Hotel bar says they'll be fine in Mumbai.

Bombay bites

I hear a couple of tigers were recently spotted at the famous reserve north of Nagpur. Well, I could have done with the same trackers in Mumbai over the last few days when I tried to get near our Beefy.

Harder to spot than a Shoaib Akhtar delivery, England's former all-rounder has been sighted in a helicopter (going south of Mumbai to India's new resort complex Amby Valley) and then on a boat, on his way to lunch at Ravi Shastri's joint the other side of town.

However, he might be easier to spot during the Ashes this winter. Beefy is continuing his efforts for charity by walking from Melbourne to Adelaide (Boxing Day to Australia Day) with fellow cricketing greats Allan Border and Dean Jones.

***

After interviewing Athers in front of the Gateway of India with a fantastic evening light, a young Indian came up to us and said a memorable one-liner: "Hello sirs, I just have to tell you that I have an unbelievable, 24/7 crazy diet for cricket."

***

If the constant noise of the city doesn't get to the hardiest of country folk, then breakfast at The Ambassador Hotel will. Meandering into breakfast, you are confronted with the sounds of furious Techno beats as you try and remember your room number.

***

It's Bombay Test week and as well as society gossip columnists, former Indian greats are also in town. Nobok Legend Farokh Engineer is one who still commands much attention from cricket fans - even during an interview. Farokh looked up in disbelief as a middle-aged man thrust his hand out with the camera rolling. After telling him that the camera really wasn't a garden plant he responded: "Ah well, it's still good for an old man's ego."

Rod Gilmour in Mumbai

Trouble looms for Punter

No, it's not Ricky Ponting accepting bribes to throw the Greatest ODI ever.

An update reaches Diary of the British National who gained media accreditation to place bets from the comfort of the Press Box (13 March).

Having been ejected from the PCA Stadium over the weekend, the Oxford graduate-turned professional gambler Rajeev Mulchandani has been taken into Punjab police custody.

He returned to his city hotel in Chandigarh after being escorted from the ground, but obviously didn't use the 24 hours or so any other sensible person would have done to get on the first flight out of the state.

On Monday, Mulchandani got into an argument when he questioned his room bill at the government-run Shivalik View. However, Police were already on the scene, after questions were raised as to why local cricket officials didn't hand him over to the law in the first place. So he's in for a few more rough nights. He's already had his fair share; the beds are like concrete at the Shivalik View.

***

Holi, the Hindu festival of colour, has been celebrated across India, bringing to a grinding halt the buzzing chaos of Mumbai.

It marks the arrival of spring - although you wouldn't have believed it if the high temperatures here are anything to go by.

Indians celebrate Holi with real vigour and passion by throwing coloured powders and water balloons at each other in each city's streets before exchanging greetings.

Rod Gilmour in Mumbai

Satellite, betting and misplaced balls

Lisa Stansfield's 'All Around The World' isn't, of course, about the ICC's commitment to playing countless Test cricket, but I know what she means in terms of switching on cable TV here.

Yesterday saw a clatter of wickets around the continents on both ESPN and Star Sports. (Add a replay of a recent Indo-Pak ODI game on Ten Sports and the day was set).

It started early. The West Indies, attempting to stop a run of 14 Test defeats in 16, began to lose wickets at a steady rate in their second innings chase against New Zealand.

Then, in late afternoon, the fireworks began. About the same time as Ricky Ponting was thinking he had just played himself into a man-of-the-match position, Anil Kumble was going through England's top-order batsmen.

England managed to finish the fourth day five wickets down in Mohali, just before Herschelle Gibbs started his beligerent innings on ESPN, which Tony Greig said was 'the greatest one-day game of all time'. It also ended the South African's 'choker' tag awarded to them after the 1999 World Cup semi-final.

***

There's no accounting for hard work during a day's play in the Press Box, but you've got to hand it to the young British 'journalist' who only seemed interested in gambling on the Betfair website.

Sometime before lunch yesterday, myself and the man from Wisden watched bemused as Rajeev Mulchandani, 22, was asked to follow an official from the Punjab Cricket Association.

Shortly afterwards, he packed his laptop and was escorted off the ground, into the hands of the television cameras who had been tipped off by the journalist who reported him in the first place. He attempted to leg it but found a dead end and so the barraging of questions began.

It has since emerged that the Oxford graduate turned professional gambler was rumoured to have won £21,000 over three days, after gaining valuable insider information and a media accreditation. With the use of wi-fi access, it meant he was always one step ahead of the bookmakers when it came to the odds being updated by Betfair.

It makes sense now as, taking him for a rookie journo, I saw him shaking at the back of the box during tea. In hindsight he was probably sweating on a major punt on the final session of play.

***

There have been constant interruptions during this Test series.

It even got to the point yesterday when the big screen flashed it's harshest warning yet; that anyone caught walking behind the bowler's arm would be ejected.

However, the most farcical stoppage was played out before a ball was bowled. Umpire Hair had dropped the match ball just inside the boundary ropes for the Indians to pick up, but when they came onto the field there was no sign of it.

It took over 10 minutes before it became clear; India's sports science coach Ian Fraser had picked it up while clearing away all his pre-match fitness clutter and had chucked it in his bag.

Kapil lights up Mohali

Kapil Dev, India's greatest all-rounder, is back in his home town over the weekend, although indications suggest he is not here just to catch the last three days play of the Test match.

The 'Haryana Hurricane' was caught up in a scandal five years ago, when the former Indian bowler Manoj Prabhakar accused Kapil of offering him money to under-perform during the 1994 tour to Sri Lanka. The alleged incident came to light when former BCCI president and current PCA chairman Inderjit Bindra gave an interview to CNN.

Kapil's company, Dev Musco Lighting, was also responsible for the array of floodlights at the stadium in Mohali and it is rumoured that Kapil, now a successful businessman, is here to make up with Bindra during the next two days.

***

At least Kapil will be able to sleep in comfort - he is staying at his hotel 'The Kaptain's Retreat' which also features a restaurant called 'Elevens'.

Kapil opened the hotel after India heroically won the 1983 World Cup Final at Lord's and it now houses most of the memorabilia he amassed during an established career. The boutique hotel also has 10 rooms which are all named after his individual achievements like 'Tied Test' (India v Australia, 1986), '432' (World record Test wickets) and 'Four Sixes' (ask Eddie Hemmings).

A quick survey around the Nobok Legends out here in India tells us that offers haven't been thick or fast for a Gower Wine Bar or a Beefy Basement Pub over the years. However, Mike Gatting's brother-in-law briefly set up a Gatt's Bar in Southern Spain, while Athers says, if anything, a fish and chip shop named after him in the North would do just fine. Watch out for a Kapil Dev video feature between Tests next week.

Rod Gilmour in Chandigarh

Shastri's Audi moment

They say the best things come to those that wait.

So confident was Malcolm Marshall of success against India in the 1983 World Cup Final, he ordered a spanking new BMW as a gift to himself before Kapil Dev duly lifted the trophy.

Two years later, Ravi Shastri didn't even have to phone the car dealer. India's legendary all-rounder won an Audi 100 for his 'Champion of Champions' man of the series effort in Australia in 1985. Today marks the 21st anniversary and his prize still takes pride and joy in his front drive.

Shastri had a slow start to the tournament, which also featured Pakistan, but soon found his gear as he finished with 182 runs and 8 wickets as India beat Pakistan in the final.

After learning of his prize, Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi waived the heavy duty on the Audi's import and Shastri took full advantage.

"Initially I was over possessive about it," said Shastri a few years ago. "I was always watching her with eagle eyes just to make sure no one touched her."

Sounding out a spot

Chandigarh is reputed to have one of the largest rose gardens in Asia. There are road lanes, speed limits (of sorts) and the PCA stadium here resembles Hampshire's Rose Bowl. Even Jerusalem rang out over the tannoy before play today; all sweet memories of England. So it was even more of a comfort when I passed a local whose mobile ringtone rang out the BBC's Rugby Special theme tune.

***

While colleagues back home are having trouble sending material to the office from Cardiff and Dublin, life couldn't be much easier when it comes to filing in India. Expecting the usual trouble of forgotten leads and connection problems, it has been a revelation that each ground's press box has been equipped with wi-fi internet speeds. I'm sure the England and Wales Cricket Board could learn a thing or two from this, especially when told at Nagpur that these initiatives were first planned four years ago.

***

"Right, whose up for doing some radio commentary for the next five days?" This was the BBC's Jonathan Agnew's line when he walked into the press box minutes before play was due to begin. TMS were having technical difficulties among other problems in their box and Aggers could be heard muttering that it was the worst he'd seen in 15 years.

The former Leicestershire and England bowler is not new to these experiences. In 2001 he was locked out of the Galle cricket ground over a radio dispute and had to commentate from the Galle fort during the England-Sri Lanka Test. It also got worse for Five Live's Kevin Howells. Filing his first radio report of the day from the press box, the scorer couldn't have timed his moment better to inform us of the runs total over his loud microphone.

***

So Geoff Boycott had to be content with a press box viewing until the troubles were ironed out. It wasn't the first time the written media had heard his voice on this tour. Freddie Flintoff was giving his post-match conference in Nagpur when his comments were suddenly drowned out by the Yorkshireman's voice a full two partitioned walls away.

Gin and iso-Tonics

Behind the Taj Hotel there is a long stretch of stalls known as Colaba Market. Haggling for some jewellery off these wise Indian vendors is a fine art, but I soon found my way and by the end of the stretch came away happy.

Many of the ex-England players out here have seen their fair share of markets during their touring years, but for Athers it's a more surreal shopping experience he can recall.

England were on a trip up the Khyber Pass in the early 90s and found themselves at a bazaar in the mountains. Not known at the time for their love of cricket in Afghanistan, the players were amazed at what happened next.

Athers and Nasser got off the team bus and ventured into the stalls. The former Lancashire opener takes up the story. "We weren't up for any haggling but remarkably and amazingly everyone knew who we were. They all had their little picture cards with Atherton, Hussain and Thorpe.

"These days the players don't really get out much. The ECB have their own security measures and seem to make it compulsory to keep the players under lock and key. I don't think it is necessary myself but that is the way it goes."

***

Which player will walk away from Mumbai with the sponsor's red motorbike as part of the man of the match prizes? Will Hoggy be seen doing another lap of honour to the dismay of BCCI officials, who now count the Wankhede as the governing body's new home?

Whoever it is, the tax will be waived on the bike as it is seen as a prize and not a gift. Four years ago, however, saw a different story when Sachin Tendulkar was gifted a Ferrari 360 Modeno by Fiat for equalling Sir Don Bradman's record of 29 Test centuries.

The 120 percent import duty was waived by India's Finance Minister after the car was flown in by Air France from Paris the following year. A high court notice was soon issued on the Little Master to pay the outstanding duty, but Sachin still had a fleet to choose from in his garage.

***

The Nobok Legends out in India like nothing better than to kick back with a gin and tonic after a hard day's stint behind the mic.

But their thirst was scuppered in Nagpur when there was no sign of Schweppes' classic yellow India tonic water. They even had to send out their tour operator to find a batch, but all a local could find were a load of Isotonic drinks.

A quick glance in the Taj Hotel bar says they'll be fine in Mumbai.

Odd man out

Well, the drama which unfolded prior to the Nagpur Test when injuries, captaincy changes, general newsworthy items and British journalists became headline news have thankfully subsided in Chandigarh; two England net sessions have passed without problems.

So, diary can now concentrate on the real issue at hand as reported from yesterday - Indian wrestling and the story of a legend in the sport who became unrecognised in his own country.

Khashaba Jhadhav became India's first individual medalist in the Olympics when he won bronze at the Helsinki Games in 1952; a great feat considering Jhadhav's family had to beg for village contributions to send him to Europe after he failed at the 1948 London Games. He probably would have won gold too in Helsinki if the matting had been to his liking, but India couldn't hide its euphoria when news reached Bombay.

On his return there was a 151 bullock cart procession to a famous temple, which by foot would have usually taken 15 minutes, but on this occasion took a full day such were the scenes. The only plight in Jhadhav's return was his resentment towards Indian officials who travelled to Helsinki, who according to the medalist were only interested in shopping and casinos.

The Indian media was still in its prime during the early 1950s and Jhadhav's Bantamweight efforts were soon a distant memory; a spectacular change from today's attitudes as national media feeds on Bombay social gossip while no daily sports page would be complete without its frenzy of politically-based cricket stories.

So Jhadhav went back to his village and in no time was living in near obscurity. He took up a job in the police force three years later where he remained without promotion until 1982. Six months before his retirement, thanks to colleagues, he was appointed an assistant commissioner of police. He died two years later in a motorcycle accident.

A few years ago, his son finally got the recognition his father deserved after years of neglect and funding from the Indian government. Perhaps this is why it took until 1996 for India to win its second Olympic medal when Leander Paes won bronze in the singles tennis at Atlanta.

Rod Gilmour in Chandigarh

Kabaddi memories

15 years ago there was a popular Asian sport on British television.

Slotted in next to Transworld Sport on Saturday morning's in the UK, Kabaddi took the nation by storm for a year or so before being unexplainably taken away.

There were teams such as the West Bengal Police Force playing a game similar to 'tag' and it featured a small playing area with teams of five in each half, with the aim that one player would attempt to touch as many opponents as possible, by venturing into their half and returning without being caught. The only catch was to hold your breath for as long as possible while saying 'Kabaddi'. A game of strength, speed, agility, lungpower and tactics - I loved it.

According to the Nagpur District website, Kabaddi and Akhada (Indian wrestling) play a traditional village life with many sport meetings held in the wrestling pits around the city 'sometimes ending in disturbance'.

I couldn't find any sign of these two sports during my stay, while journalists said Kabaddi was rarely played in schools these days and Akhada was now consigned to local gyms.

However, both sports still feature at the Asian games and at National level, so much so that wrestling hit front page news here last month when a woman junior gold medalist took on a 14-year-old wrestler with the frightening name of Babloo Yadav.

It was the main attraction at the All India Wrestling Championships while the organiser allayed any fears of shady activity by stating there would be "no fixing and the match will be played with true spirit".

Watched by thousands, the boy prevailed in a tough 25-minute encounter but the girl was hailed for her efforts; the locals here will be doing the same to Monty Panesar on Thursday whatever his figures.

Nagpur nutters

Motorbikes make up the majority of traffic in Nagpur, the city of Oranges. But it's the warning signs on the main highway that has caught the attention of our man in India.

Depending which route you take, it is a 15 minute auto-rickshaw ride to the VCA ground from my hotel.

From England's team lodging's a long, straight road takes you virtually to the dressing room door, via two fly-overs for the team bus, or, if on a rickshaw, the local's route.

I've managed the flyover twice this week but only because the driver's engine has coped.

A splutter, followed by virtual standstill in a precarious position in the road has usually been the form on ascent - while a cacophony of horns can be heard from behind. Most driver's have since taken me street level, below the highway, to what they describe as 'real India, India'.

Che Guevara would be proud of Nagpur too. A motley crue selection of classic, old school motorbikes make up the majority of traffic on this busy stretch, with careless and carefree manoeuvres like many of their Honda 'Freedom' bikes suggest.

Nobok's Top 5 Road Safety signs, as seen on the Nagpur highway:

1. Control your nerves on curves

2. Death rides a speedy driver

3. Patience is heavenly, haste is deadly

4. Better late in this world, than first in that world

5. Danger creeps where safety sleeps

Curried favour

While some cricketers relish the sub-continent tours for both its cultural and culinary experiences, others concentrate on ensuring they see through three gruelling Test matches and a one-day series without a hiccup.

Cuisine is the main cause for concern, as England found to their cost before arriving in Nagpur. Nobok's legends, who are into their third day on commentary with Sky Sports, know all about that. Nasser Hussain, Ian Botham, David Gower and Mike Atherton all had bad experiences with sub-continental curries during their careers.

A fifth legend, Mike Gatting, will arrive for the second Test in Chandigarh as host of a cricket tour group, and it has been well documented what happened to Gatt after a night sampling prawns in a Chinese restaurant in Madras.

But what of other past tourists? Abdul Razzaq, the Pakistan all-rounder who has produced some thunderous sixes down the order in his time, sticks to a spinach diet when away on tours. Suffering from nausea, Razzaq was told this special diet would put an end to his problems, but they have stubbornly refused to go away.

There is no such luck when it comes to stomach problems or Delhi Belly as well. It happened to New Zealand on their tour to India in 1988 when a bug ripped right through the heart of the side. So threadbare was it, the management had to haul former captain Jeremy Coney down from the commentary box as a fielder.

At least England will have four to choose from if the same happens here.

More tour ramblings

The first sign of activity at the VCA ground yesterday morning didn't come from Virender Sehwag's blade.

As a blazer-less Andrew Flintoff tossed up in the middle, a flurry of text messages could suddenly be heard from the British contingent in the press box.

Simultaneously looking at our phones it informed us that 'England had won the toss and will bat'. The ECB's text service for journalists has been in steady use already this tour as, one by one, England's team has depleted.

***

Ali Cook and Sri Sreesanth both showed sound nerves on their Test debuts.

Sreesanth, the sprightly 22-year-old, must finally be thinking he has landed himself with the right job, serving his country on the sports field.

The paceman had previously flirted with the idea of joining first the Navy, then the Army and most recently the Air Force. And he is quite a dancer too, having also reportedly starred to acclaim in his school show 'Boogey Woogey'.

***

Cigarettes and alcohol. Okay, that's not all this diary has been interested in when the UK Chancellor's budget is announced. But before you scroll down in boredom, eyebrows were raised at the leader in one of Nagpur's local English language papers.

India's General Budget for 2006/07 has been announced in New Delhi and among those highlighted items which will cost the tax payer less are: pasta, fluorescent lamps and rubber rolls.

Costlier items for the coming year include goggles, walking sticks, whips and umbrellas.

I could only imagine the laughs in Westminster.

Teachings and tuk-tuks

It is exam season here in Nagpur and crowds are expected to be low for the first three days of the first Test. Apparently no one thought of delaying the Test match so that local kids could come and watch their heroes, who themselves rarely make it to these parts.

But a heart-rending exam story reaches Nobok of one tribal woman in West Bengal who went into labour the night before she was due to take her final examinations last week.

She duly delivered her first born but was then so eager to pursue her career dreams that she asked medical staff if she could take her seat for her second paper, a mere hour after being unconscious in hospital.

***

Auto-rickshaws, the cheap three-wheeled form of transport, are second to motorbikes on the roads in these parts. It's the same in Mumbai, the Bollywood capital of the world, where rickshaws are restricted to the suburbs by the exhilarating chaos of rush-hour in the city.

This diary is also surprised to report a lack of congenial banter with rickshaw drivers. Maybe it's just Nagpur but it made me recall a trip to Colombo and a drive with one of the capital's famed tuk-tuk drivers there. The Sri Lankan's three-wheeler was emblazoned with stickers bearing catchphrases like 'Luv-erly Jub-erly' and, along the way, he asked for details of the latest episode of Blind Date, and if Les and Judie got on during their date in Lanzarote.