Poor in Perth

It can't keep going like this can it? I mean how many times can you log on and think of another damning post to write?

Luckily, the best bits about blogging are finding random stories or coming across links to post, rather than continually write about England's demise.

However, falling short of dissecting every part of Duncan Fletcher's troops, I was amazed at Freddie Flintoff's fielding nous today.

Against New Zealand, Ricky Ponting placed his best fielders on the ropes towards the end of the innings. Ball-by-ball Andrew Symonds and Michael Clarke stopped the thwack, thud and wallop of Jacob Oram's bat. And it definitely saved Australia so much more than the eight runs that the Kiwis fell short by in defeat.

Chris Tremlett and Liam Plunkett's blunders today summed it up. At least England got past 200.

Wrong clowns, Greg!

Two England innings now of complete ineptitude (230 off 72 overs) hasn't even resulted in what Australia would consider a decent 50-over total.

At least it gives me space to link in two stories which didn't make this week's blogging.

Firstly, Greg Blewett was fined AUS$1000 this week after he recently called the state selectors "clowns" on an Adelaide radio station. Apparently he breached Cricket Australia's code of behaviour ruling after he referred to the region's state selectors as "basically volunteers". I'm just thinking whether Blewett might have got away with it if he had said he was actually referring to England as "clowns".

At least the hapless tourists are not the only team to suffer in world cricket. Check out the start of Mumbai's second innings score in their game against Baroda this week. Five ducks might even make Duncan Fletcher sleep easier if he knew about it.

Adelaide nights

We kick off a quadruple helping of Nutley posts today with a p.s. note attached to one email I received from a colleague. Now this blog is not intentionally going in for wicked whispers but it's hard not to after the manner of their defeat against New Zealand.

Anyway, it's from a journo covering the Ashes tour and he had this to say about England's shenanigans in Adelaide:

"PS: Is it any surprise our cricket team is so useless when the players are out at strip clubs until 5am on Sunday night and had girls in their rooms until 7am last night? Have to say though, having seen a couple of the girls, its hard to blame the lads....."

Lankans look to the future

Sri Lanka Cricket is set to draw up a programme to regain past glory for the Island.

11 years on from their heroic 1996 World Cup win, the governing body for Sri Lanka wants to make its cricketers the best in both Test and ODI arenas.

It looks likely that the Caribbean tournament will be the last time we will see the opening talents of Sanath Jayasuriya and, with a few other team-mates approaching the end of their careers, it marks an important time to develop young blood.

**The Nutley will be publishing some World Cup articles in the build-up to the tournament, including an interview with the MD of Singer, who sponsored Sri Lanka to glory in 1996.

India to finally reward fans?

With 2006 being a relatively quiet year in Indian cricket, 2007 will be a rollercoaster year for Greg Chappell's troops.

Already in the grips of a home ODI series against the West Indies, the World Cup will heap more pressure on the team from its millions of expectant fans, while Test tours to England and Australia will be just as tough.

However, the last year has seen little cricket from India and this must be one of the few times before a big tournament like the World Cup that the players will go to feeling fresh.

Read Sunil Gavaskar's article on India's year ahead here.

And then there was one

India's new reality show, Cricket Star, kicked off this week at its HQ in Bombay.

The show's premise is to find one lucky contestant (from the final 22) who will win a professional contract with Leicestershire CC.

Read the Simon Hughes piece from the Telegraph, which includes this TV money shot:

"The eviction, involving Manjrekar stepping forward to remove the Cricket Star
badge from the doomed player's breast pocket, before he is cast out through the
studio door, may sound brutal but it does make great TV."

Podcast: Lee suited and booted

It's relentless cricket for England at the moment. The Commonwealth Bank ODI Series is under way and it's back to the same hotels in the same cities.

For the Aussies, a few of the Ashes winners have been granted a rest, including paceman Brett Lee.

Lee is the subject of my final Ashes podcast which you can listen online now. I spoke to Lee's business partner Richard Bowman about the pair's growing suit clothing business and what he thought of the bowler's Bollywood introduction.

Lee still works in the shop to get away from the stresses of international cricket and sources material for the range. He's come a long way since he got stitched up by a mate of Bowman's who came into the shop one day as a customer looking for a suit. Throwing Lee some trade-talk lines, Lee was totally bemused but like a true pro managed to see it through as if he was bowling the last over.

Indo-Aus series back on?

As revealed exclusively by this blog in October, it seems that the India-Australia ODI series in North America is getting closer.

Reports suggest that Cricket Australia has been approached by India and it is just a matter of negotiating revenues and dates.

Every so often these stories crop up: namely the big international teams set to play cricket in non-Test playing countries.

And having initially sourced the story, I personally think that the two boards should wait until next year to make their money. The proposed Floyd Bennett Stadium in New York would in no way be ready, while Australia still have a tour to Zimbabwe to think about in June, when the series would most likely take place. It'll still be a sell-out mind you.

Inzy the new KP?

How many times did Kevin Pietersen have to bat with the lower-order during the Ashes? Too many I can recall. And even when he moved up the order he still found himself batting with his bowling team-mates.

The trend seems to be sweeping through world cricket as well. On Pakistan's tour to South Africa, skipper Inzamam-ul-Haq has shipped the strike from his bowlers on a few occasions already.

40-odd and 35 in the first Test was followed by an unbeaten 92 batting with the lower order at Centurion today. KP has it far harder of course: Pakistan's tail has wagged considerably compared to England.

Cricket and awards

The Golden Globes have been won and the Oscars nominations imminent but voting started this week for the UK's Sports Journalists' Association broadcast awards.

And cricket could well feature heavily this year. Peter Baxter, the long-serving Test Match Special producer, is leaving this year while Jonathan Agnew is another who could run close.

Aggers was in great voice Down Under and his contribution to ABC radio - especially in sharing the microphone with Kerry O'Keefe - was full of insightful banter.

Read the SJA's blog entry on the awards and why not peruse what is clearly an old school website Aggers set up back in the day.

Chris a-Broad

I should have got this one up earlier but moving house has scuppered posts this week. Fellow Cricket World blogger Chris Broad has given his thoughts on the Herschelle Gibbs incident at Centurion this week.

Read his diary entry here.

Chapter and verse

I read recently how some were questioning the worth of David Fine, the first Ashes poet-in-residence.

After a 5-0 drubbing you would expect nothing less and it was probably hard for Fine himself to write positive prose on England. Then again, there was the matter of Warne at Adelaide, Collingwood's double ton, Gilchrist's Perth fireworks, Warne's retirement and the SCG send-off for Fine to get his quill into.

I interviewed him for a Nobok Ashes podcast and you can listen here to the Derby man. Next week will be the final podcast where I tracked down Brett Lee's business partner at the pair's clothing outlet in Sydney.

Todd rekindles old Aussie ways

I had never heard of Warwick Todd before the Ashes tour. A few Aussies had told me about him and his antics before realising he was actually a fictional character.

Written in tour diary-style by comedian Tom Gleisner, the books highlight Todd's incident-packed career with Australia, of which there were many moments. The unofficial website is an amusing read which even captures a fine team photo at the Taj Mohal.

All-night sessions from Andrew Symonds apart, the current crop of Australians have held themselves in a far more professional outlook since the era of David Boon's drinking exploits and Todd's fictional career.

Perhaps the Australian swansongs in the Caribbean will see them return to old habits by hitting the rum and jump-up parties.

Todd in more trouble

Fan witnesses England WAG debacle?

The UK media has, of course, made many smile with those stories related to forwarded emails getting out of hand which have then circulated the City. For the sender, I can't imagine how it must feel at work with sniggering colleagues.

One such email popped into my inbox today, although the sender has no reason to worry. In a diary-type email sent to Simon Barnes, The Times journalist, a Stephen Rodney witnessed the England players going about their routine at the team hotel before the Perth Test (the one where they relinquished the Ashes). He basically outlines his horror at the entourage of wives, girlfriends and baby talk at the breakfast table before the team were buried 3-0.

We all know about the WAGs and the 90-odd personnel on tour, but the email reads true all the same, even if it is all lies. Anyway, my continued jetlag has given me little thought to care!
Read the email here.

Caribbean colour scheme

At first glance this looks like a colour scheme associated more to an English seaside resort.

This is actually one of the new stadiums which will be used in the Caribbean World Cup (click here to see more photos of the stadium). Anyone know which ground/island this is meant to be?

On the World Cup, the West Indies cricket blog has highlighted another problem which the World Cup authorities are going to have to deal with: unauthorised merchandise will no doubt be available throughout the Islands during the tournament.

The World Cup song, however, which Nutley posted a few weeks ago, is one item that is official, although it remains to be seen if organisers chose an authorised producer for the track.

Boon and baggage handlers

The long flight back to the UK at least gave me something to look forward to. My wife had put eggs and milk in the fridge and I was ready to return in time to catch the Twenty20 game in Sydney.

Baggage handlers at Heathrow apparently couldn't keep up with the influx of flights at 6am and two hours of waiting has left me in tatters. Six weeks Down Under made me forget (thanks Shiraz, Cab Savs and VB) my total dissociation with British airports and all the other frailties my country possesses when it comes to serving its public.

Perhaps this is the reason why former Tasmanian David Boon sunk 52 beers from Sydney to London back in '89: get comatosed, wake up in a swish hotel and a memory blank on the three hours it probably took the team to get out of the airport. Okay, that was a theory but Boonie's real aim was to beat the previous efforts from past players. Read the Weekend Australian's account here.

Anyway, that's the Ashes trip over for me and thanks for all your comments over the weeks. Tiredness is creeping in but it's not over for the year round Nutley to Nagpur as it starts the countdown to the Caribbean and hopefully a new and improved website.

Ending on a b@ll@cks

One joy of this Ashes series has been the co-commentating of ABC Radio's Kerry O'Keefe and Jonathan Agnew. O'Keefe has gently mocked his colleague's Englishness this summer, while Aggers's own use of English would surely have got him sacked from the BBC if he had kept to his word during one afternoon at the Sydney Test.

The pair had got onto the subject of "bollocks" with Aggers announcing that if he had uttered the word on the BBC he would have landed in big trouble. O'Keefe remarked that he could happily talk bollocks all day on ABC. Aggers then suggested that he might end his last session "with a big" bollocks, just so he could get it out on the Australian airwaves. In hindsight, Aggers would have aptly summed up England's 5-0 defeat.

In Australia, "bollocks" means absurd or an absurdity while "bollock naked" is naval slang for spaghetti bolognese.
**
There's none of the above when it comes to Nasser Hussain. There's a fifth Ashes podcast up, where Nasser talks on the series defeat, the retirees and the one-day jamboree. Listen to it here.

It had to happen

Just when I was getting over yesterday's damp squib ending to England's Ashes quest (actually I felt the dying embers in Adelaide), the Sydney Morning Herald plant this over their sports supplement front page. (More shots here at flickr).

1-2-3-4... 5-0

Whitewash complete: today's brief showing from England summed up their tour. As Ian Chappell said today on Channel Nine: "England have been like candy floss - bite in the middle and there's nothing there".

Well, at least there has been one positive from Nutley's point of view. I have seen first hand the Aussie mockery it gives opponents when its own is winning. Nutley has chronicled most of the Australian media's backpages and you can view them here at flickr and over the coming days. Here's a taster from The Age backpage after the MCG Test:

Law 23, rule 9D at the SCG

Australia's fun authorities have been at it again. From Brisbane to Sydney, each Test venue has had its particular rules and regs but the laws this week top the lot.

The Mexican Wave has already been banned from the SCG but news reaches Nutley of an eye test to eke out possible cricket drunks. A friend was told to lift off his sunglasses from one barman yesterday so he could examine his eyes: if they looked drunk he was told to return to his seat.

The Australian public have seemingly been under these types of everyday laws for a while now. It reminds me of one particular measure put in place by a Sydney suburb last year. Local councillors came up with an idea to pump out 'daggy music' (uncool) to avert youths from the streets late at night. The music in question was Barry Manilow's back catalogue which was put through a loudspeaker at a well-known hotspot in Rockdale, south Sydney.

I doubt whether England's dressing room has been doing the same (It was Ring of Fire last March in India), although Bazza's 1973 single Cloudburst could be the track to save them in this final Test.

Last chance saloon

The one saving grace from this series is that the Australian media have kept a keen eye on the Ashes: 4-0 up and three legends about to retire could be the reason why. This was the front page of the Telegraph this morning, while the backpage reveals the usual 5-0.