Legends' cold feud continues

"Ian Chappell worries me about as much as a cold... I couldn't care less what he says." And so continues cricket's great feud.

The former Australian Test player has reacted to claims in Botham's new book about a bar-room incident in Melbourne 30 years ago where the Englishman recalled how he had flattened Chappell and sent him "flying over a table and crash-landed on a group of Aussie rules footballers..."

The pair haven't spoken since, remarkable really since they both work in broadcasting. In fact, this summer was especially interesting as ESPN and Sky Sports usually had their studios next door to each other.

Anyway, here's Chappelli in another of cricket's controversies:

5-0... it's definitely on

On this forgettable Ashes trip, England have probably now achieved as many days off as David Gower's optional nets tour of the West Indies.

It was a limp effort to be beaten in three days, but at least England were consistent - defeat had already looked on the cards the previous day when Andrew Symonds and Matt Hayden were enjoying batting together.

And I have officially lost my England positives too. After years of thinking the unimaginable ("we'll come back on day 5", "2-0 down in the series isn't a problem", "someone will dig us out at 103-6") yesterday proved that England simply do not possess any of Freddie Flintoff's press conference "fight".

If an Ashes Down Under is the toughest tour, then why schedule just two short and meaningless warm-up games and not the usual four-day affair? From the first day in Brisbane to the inclusion of Kevin Pietersen at four mid-way through a Test, this tour has been doomed. And I'm fed up too of little wry smiles from England players on the brink of defeat.

England's decision to appoint three full-time security guards and still let the Aussies in on their bowling secrets only adds to the ribbing. You have to hand it to the Aussie media though. Although it was cricket fan Nick Guthry who emailed it to ABC, the Test Match Special equivalent, after it was found on the floor of the MCG members bar, this information wasn't revealed until after the English press had come to their own conclusions to further landslide the team's performance in Melbourne.

It's tourist mentality to enjoy yourself, especially if you are an English fan, but it must be a world away from back home where people are enduring torturous back pages. Many have berated the nationals over the years for their approach to English cricket when things go wrong; today's editions will be no different except I will be in agreement.

Everything has gone right for Australia in this increasingly emotional Ashes ending. The SCG should now see Shane Warne's 1000th international wicket on a turning pitch and home favourite Glenn McGrath see out his prediction wish of 5-0.
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Warne's MCG Quote of the Week: "I feel like I've had 50 vodka red bulls every time I walk onto the field."

The Hadlee post

In my last job, I spent a fair bit of time interviewing Kiwi legend Richard Hadlee.

His name came to mind this week with the massive MCG Test upon us. The notorious Bay 13 at the "G" used to put the wind up Hadlee no end and the taunt "Hadlee's a wanker" was heard everytime New Zealand played there. Greg Chappell once told Hadlee that to be called a wanker was, in fact, a mark of respect! So it was with classic Aussie irony when Hadlee was asked to bulldoze Bay 13 in 1992 when the ground underwent renovation; after all he probably did save his best performances playing Australia.



Hadlee also has some memorable quips involving Aussies. He once received a letter from an inmate in Auckland jail asking for some memorabilia. He wrote that it was difficult to get to the grounds at weekends because they preferred to keep him in on both days. Hadlee then said the letter finished: "P.S. If it helps, the house I burgled was owned by an Australian."

Another Hadlee anecdote involved a lady who went up to the Kiwi a couple of times during an autograph session. "Haven't I seen you before?" said Hadlee. She said: " Yes, but when I get 10 of yours I can swap it for one Dean Jones."

Melbourne (mellow) drama

Last night, a reporter cousin and I were drinking with some locals. Word spread that Shane Warne was going to announce his retirement. A quick phone call to Cricket Australia put the story to bed: nothing in it.

This morning, the world's media crashed the MCG for the final Test chapter in Warnie's legendary and entertaining career. I've written an online piece for Cricket World Magazine on today's events, which you can read here.

It was clearly the Warne way to quit at the top. He also stated his intentions on getting his home life back on track, and one thing that struck me was the fact that if he intends on doing so why is he playing for Hampshire for the next two years?

The England team's media managament have also jumped on today's news and decided it was probably a good time to bury semi-bad news as they say, with Steve Harmison announcing his retirement from the one-day game.

Anyway, what can Warnie achieve in his two more years with Hampshire? Will he be a good commentator? Feed your comments...

Old VHS still stands the test

Surrey's announcement on Friday that Australian Matthew Nicholson would be one of the club's overseas players next year left me wondering where I had heard the name before. Okay, he played for Northants last season but it was something more long-term than that.

It's frantic times in the Nutley household at the moment. Moving house just before an Ashes trip has meant boxes everywhere, keeping tabs on the passport and... and then it hit me. Just as a bunch of old VHS tapes were about to get the chop, I saw one marked 'Eng/Aus '98 Melbourne, 3 Musketeers, You Only Live Twice'. It had to be Christmas.

That 4th Test is one of the great Ashes games. With Channel 9's "Got 'im, amaaazing" commentary it had everything: tons from Stewie and Steve Waugh; a blinding Mark Ramprakash catch with warpath celebration to match; Alan Mullaly hitting Glenn McGrath for consecutive boundaries; an inspired Darren Gough and Dean Headley's finest moment in an England shirt (6 for 60).

It boiled down to Australia needing just 175 to win and the now-fading VHS quality still shows the tension of that last session. Steve Waugh kept running out of partners but you knew, even with a raucous Barmy Army, the home side could still creep home. That is until until Deadly Headley gave England a 12-run victory.

Oh, and Nicholson took four wickets in the match. Unfortunately it was his only Test but he had played his part in a thriller.

Ashes urns Aussies chance

"Aww, look mate, you might as well not bother taking it home"..."Don't go dropping the Ashes now, Freddie".

These are just a few of the likely brash Aussie comments following the news that the Ashes urn will form the centrepiece of a 94-day exhibition around Australia, starting on 21 October.

It will be only the third time that the urn has left cricket headquarters; it had previously disappointed the Aussie cricket fraternity four years ago when the poor thing had to undergo an x-ray prior to departure (feeble MCC excuse that one).

However the MCC have obviously put one over exhibition sponsors Travelex, who themselves may not have thought through the real tour itinerary or the lay of the land of its company's birthplace ... If Australia do manage to retain the Ashes then the media jokes would be far harder to take if the last museum stop had been Sydney, home of the last Test: the exhibition actually finishes Melbourne.

Any more likely Aussie comments out there?