Golden Globe for Warne

Another memorable day's cricket. Ali Cook's century, Glenn McGrath's penultimate over and Shane Warne's histrionics the highlights.

He is a legendary bowler, but Warne must be stopped in his tracks when it comes to excessive appealing and the subsequent theatre he puts on in his disappointment when no finger goes up. On too many occasions Warne spun round looking for the decision to go his way, only to stay half-way down the track, shaking his head, hands on hips and bemused within himself that the batsman wasn't half-way back to the pavilion.

It's the Warne ploy, of course, to pressure the batsman but shouldn't match referee Jeff Crowe step in? The umpire would never rise to it, although Warne and Rudi Koertzen, standing at Warne's end for his long spell, at one point looked to be joining in on the fun when his body language suggested that one of Warne's deliveries was a particularly juicy one.

Gilly puts on Viv show

So many runs were being churned out on day three here that it was a total surprise that Adam Gilchrist was even nearing the Viv Richards record.

A friend, Chris, and I looked round at each other as we overheard a drunk Aussie relay the details from his phone: Gilchrist needed four balls (I immediately gesticulated over the top banter) to beat King Viv's fastest Test century. We couldn't believe it. "But didn't Viv get his in 50-odd balls?" my mate reposted in a tone suggesting that he couldn't possibly be right.

Looking back now, drained after a pummelling day for England and for fans caught out by the ferocity of today's heat, it was an innings of pure brilliance. Those 24 runs in one over off Monty Panesar were breathtaking. Gilchrist's footwork was majestic, the way he moved effortlessly for those sixes with his backfoot moving like a Bolshoi dancer was great to watch.

My mate's gone back home now. He's seen 26 wickets and close to 1,000 runs in three days. Only thing now is for Geraint Jones to score a double hundred, but not until you get in on Monday please.

All tied up

England's cricket today was how WACA president Dennis Lillee (right) views the tie policy on its club's members: lose it if you want.

The relaxed, former Aussie paceman would have been content with his side's tight bowling, but the tourists simply gave their wickets away - 10 caught dismissals on the scorecard told the story. And if Kevin Pietersen had merely stroked Brett Lee for a fifth ball single rather than get you-know-how'd at long-off then we wouldn't have had to witness another of England's classic last-wicket partnerships to squeeze them past 200.

As it is, Freddie Flintoff's grasp on the urn is sliding quicker than the grease on my +30 factor legs after a day in the Perth sun.

On a brighter note, the expats in the Netherlands seem to be enjoying themselves as this amusing news feature on YouTube clip shows. Not sure about the film thriller background music though. Anyway, as a Dutch-sledging cricketer might say... mind the windowssh Tino!

Don't forget your toothbrush, Doctor

It's time to delve into the Nutley archive: for this Perth Test has drawn up two blogging memories from England's tour to India earlier this year.

As the Australian players trickled into their Perth hotel over the weekend, it brought back memories of an absolute pearler of a cricket anecdote that journalist Ted Corbett told me about earlier this year. It centres around Dean Jones and his epic double ton in Madras twenty years ago and, more importantly in the context, why you see Australians carry their washbags from the team bus when they check-in at hotels on the sub-continent. For more laughs, read Ted's March 6 entry.

The Fremantle Doctor, Perth's cooling sea breeze, should help the spinners get some afternoon drift for this third Test - it is at its best during the December and January months after all - while it should offer the bowlers some swing after lunch. If the 'Doctor' is as consistent as it has proven to be this week, then England's use of weather patterns would come into the equation for the second time this year. Check out the Wankhede high tide factor entry here.

Camera, lights... snap

It's a jungle out there. The imposing WACA lights in Perth, as snapped from a lovely little park next door. Thursday is edging closer in what is now a pivotal game for England. Win and the Ashes series is right back in the balance. Just think about it: England 2-1 down going into Melbourne and Sydney has got the sunburnt hairs on my back pricking right back up. What are your thoughts for the third Test? Tap away...

Cooking up a Perth world record

There seems to be a food connection to recent posts. Yesterday was about curry, today Ali Cook scored his first tour ton and now England fans are in for a shock - when Matthew Hayden orders in Perth, he scores a bucket load of runs.

Fellow readers of other cricketing blogs will know of Hayden's love affair with food: his two cook books are bestsellers Down Under. There's nothing of the Jack Russell here (eating nothing other than baked beans on tour), Haydos is a serious cook and his recipes dictate this.

In October 2003, Hayden ordered smoked ham and pumpkin soup, now one of his favourite meals, at the team's Perth hotel before Australia's first Test against Zimbabwe at the WACA. The following day Steve Waugh won the toss and Hayden and Langer went into bat. Over ten hours later, the Queenslander had bludgeoned 38 fours and 11 sixes on his way to a world record 380.

The Perth time difference, as mentioned in Line and Length yesterday, was at the forefront of Hayden's peckish decision. He wrote in his first cookbook that he found the dish while searching for "something light" to help him get to grips with the West Australian time. Whether or not he forgot about the recipe is another matter; he hasn't beaten 20 at the WACA in four knocks.

Nevertheless, Hayden's skills off the field haven't gone unnoticed. He has been given the task of choosing the menu for a Steve Waugh Foundation dinner next February.

Fletch, Monty's waiting in the wings

'BORE DRAW' screamed the Adelaide Advertiser this morning. Yeah right I thought. With England one wicket down, however, and a full day to play, there was still the uncertainty that Shane Warne could do the damage and add another chapter to the one already filed under England's Ashes: Misery and Failures. Today, it took a bad umpire's decision and a run-out, but that's all a team needs - especially England in recent years - to somehow wilt under last day pressure.

If England had held out for a draw with Australia, say, seven or eight down, there might have been reason to keep Ashley Giles. As it is, Duncan Fletcher has to play Monty Panesar in Perth after this disaster. He will be cradled by the cheering Barmy Army support there, whatever the Aussie crowd does to put him off - but at least he'll be match fit.

Will this be the change to at least put England back to winning ways? Victory in Perth would still keep the Ashes alive. However, after the tourists defeat today, let's not think about the (flat, run-fest, draw kind of a) WACA pitch just yet. Extraordinary game though, albeit one that has probably damaged the exciting undertones this series was first viewed.