Loving a good Ashes omen

I've arrived in Sydney, 49 hours after setting off on a nightmare journey from London. Can't complain and hopefully this will be the start of a memorable trip, which will take in four cities, Christmas and an almighty New Years Eve party.

The airport cabbie had a local Sydney station on this morning and the 7am weather news took in all of Australia's major cities, ending with London as "a paltry 14 degrees". Surely this wouldn't happen outside an Ashes series?

The station's London man came on next. Russian spies and Prince Harry both took preference over his thoughts on the Ashes, but it was worth the wait; dig out those 1955 Wisden's because the reporter consulted one himself and came out with a cracker.

The 1954/55 Ashes series started at Brisbane, where the home side racked up a familiar 600+ before England subsided with two low innings. Three months later, England had won the series 3-1.

During last summer, I somehow got the call-up to appear a couple of times on Sky News to talk about the Ashes. I was bricking it both times. The first one was a link up from its Westminster Studio and I was sparring against an Aussie journo who was with the presenters. It was quite trying too, as being told to look down the camera when replying to a question, while all the time trying to remember your key points, was pretty demanding in my book.

This took place the day before the final Test and I had researched a decent Oval omen - England racking up a huge 900 total to take the game away from Australia in 1938. Because of the elements, this was the only thing I could remember and, as a result, mates still take the piss for me saying 'good omens' about ten times over the course of the debate.

Brisbane blues

Several England batsmen are going to have to score some big runs to deny Australia an emphatic first Test victory, with two days left.

I won't be posting for a few days as off to Australia in the morning. I was rueing the decision to fly during the Test but it's not so bad now. In the meantime do leave messages below on your thoughts from the Brisbane Test; maybe there will be some Ashes salvation when I find out the outcome of the game on Monday?

In the meantime, a couple of Aussie links have been sent my way. Firstly, ballooning over Brisbane (possibly to spot Harmy's wayward deliveries) is apparently a great way to see the city and watch Barmy Army regulars stumbling back to their city hotels.

Secondly, an Aussie blog worth checking out here, event though the strapline suggests it being "Virutally (sic) unintelligible to non-Australians". See you in a few days!

Ashes Diary: Mongolia and mopeds

I went out on my moped in the Capital last night, intent on finding out how London was gearing up for the Ashes series ahead. Here are my edited findings for Nutley:

23:25 It's a reported 28 degrees at the Gabba. Through my visor it is raining hard, spotting one Australian in retro shirt in Piccadilly Circus. There is an Ashes series about to start, why is everyone F*&£in waiting for a bus?

23:55 Sports Cafe, Haymarket. After a ring round, transpires this is the only place showing live action all night. Speakers on full volume, it's like a Cup Final. Amazing atmosphere. How will fans keep up their energy for five days. Restaurant seats with own monitor have been sold out for weeks.

00:02 Steve Harmison's first ball results in a cacophony of laughs from Aussie punters.

1:05 Onwards to Cricinfo's offices to see how they cope with ball-by-ball coverage etc. Three are on duty and shepherd's pie awaits for the lunch break at 2am.
1:20 A reader from Northern Mongolia emails in. "It's very cold," he writes.

2:30 Am warned off going to a cabbie rank under the Westway due to high danger at this time of night, so will have to make do with speaking to a cabbie listening to TMS later on.

Speak to security guards, venture to the Kensington Hotel where the Aussies stayed last summer, and make it back to the Sports Cafe to see if punters have moved on to Vodka Red Bull. Catch last session with TMS in bed - you couldn't end it any other way.

Lamb to the slaughter

So, a few hours left before it all begins. I will be galavanting around London to find out where cricket fans are watching the excitement, and will be reporting back for this blog. Before I get some sleep, a reader has sent in this link on today's sketch by Alex, The Daily Telegraph cartoonist.
**
Carrying on from today's earlier post, another England stalwart has got on the banter wagon ahead of the Brisbane Test, which starts... today, tonight, tomorrow morning, wherever you're reading this! Ah, you knew that.

Allan Lamb has suggested that with Shane Warne at the helm, Australia would have won last summer's Ashes. Lamby's mindgames continue with the hint that Ricky Ponting's troops are showing pre-match nerves by selecting a big squad for the first Test.

Pre-match - even pre-series nerves - didn't even play a part when Lamby was around. Speaking to David Gower this summer, he told of one way Lamby and himself used to prepare themselves for tough tours: tackling the St Moritz Cresta Run.

"There was a mutual friend who had driven bobsleds as an amateur and wanted us to try it. We thought it would be a test of nerve doing the Cresta run and of course there’s nothing like facing the West Indies and Australia in the mid-80s: good acclimatization and good for things going past the head quickly. It was good fun and we subsequently did it for the next four years: a Cresta run in the morning and a bit of skiing in the afternoon. Because the Cresta is such a sociable club, half the people who turn up in the morning are completely buggered, so it clears the hangover pretty quickly. We copped a bit of stick for doing so-called dangerous sports a week before we were due for a big tour. When you first down you can dig your ties in and slow down. You feel like you’re doing 150mph but you’re not. You are something like nine inches off the ground, leading with your head on the Skeleton, and you are mighty close to the ice. It’s an exhilarating feeling especially if you like a bit of a buzz."

Beefy: Double-0 Ashes

You know it's getting close when Ian Botham is in town. Golf courses, restaurants, wineries and fishing boats are all vying for His Beefiness' business over the coming months. And it just wouldn't be the same without a newspaper quote: "This is the oldest Australian side I've ever seen," Botham said in his latest Dad's Army jibe.

I will have the pleasure of interviewing Beefy (or at least trying to) this Winter for a series of weekly podcasts. I don't expect an easy time of it either - just follow the Ian Botham tag below for a series of adventures tracking down the former Ashes giant.

In a storyline not too dissimilar from Daniel Craig's double-0 efforts, I have attempted to track Beefy down when he has been: on a speedboat to Ravi Shastri's abode in Mumbai; in a helicopter on his way for a round of golf with Dean Jones in Delhi; filming a Weetabix advert in Australia when I thought he was still in Sri Lanka and losing mobile contact on a mountain pass in Pakistan. (A far cry from playing himself in Emmerdale in 1995, right). It even went as far as trying to order some fish in a Sri Lankan restaurant, only to be told that a table (Beefy's) had eaten the lot earlier that day.

So when I heard that Beefy would be doing an Ashes walk Down Under, I resigned myself to hiring a van for an Outback expedition. Luckily his walking exploits were consigned to raising thousands last month in the UK, but I'm still taking my speargun and wetsuit out if I'm having difficulty on the Gold Coast.

"We won Paul in a raffle"

Yesterday was supposed to be grab-a-quote day with the Aussie players. This is where journalists fight for final player comments to put in the bank, before the cricket starts in earnest on Wednesday night (GMT).

And with two days to go, I can't find anything of interest from both sets of squads. The tour games have been played, the squads are going through their final preparations and it is just a case of getting that first ball bowled for the thousands of excited cricket fans.

What I did find from the Aussie and English media: the phenomenal rise of Michael Hussey from The Age and David Llloyd, the newly-crowned fans' favourite behind the microphone. Meanwhile, fellow Lancastrian Tom Smith will be at the national academy this winter and hopes his 21st birthday at the MCG is a memorable one.

However, the best of the bunch has to lie with the Guardian's piece on current English players who have played Aussie club cricket. Paul Collingwood and Ed Joyce are two who are featured, both having played in Melbourne and Perth respectively. Former team-mates say they conquered the Aussie pitches, while it seems Melbourne were thankful for Collingwood's services after he was plucked from a hat to join them. After two weeks Down Under the table has turned for the English duo and what are the chances both could feature heavily this winter?

**Get in line for the first ball with Nutley's Ashes guide to catching all the action.

Old VHS still stands the test

Surrey's announcement on Friday that Australian Matthew Nicholson would be one of the club's overseas players next year left me wondering where I had heard the name before. Okay, he played for Northants last season but it was something more long-term than that.

It's frantic times in the Nutley household at the moment. Moving house just before an Ashes trip has meant boxes everywhere, keeping tabs on the passport and... and then it hit me. Just as a bunch of old VHS tapes were about to get the chop, I saw one marked 'Eng/Aus '98 Melbourne, 3 Musketeers, You Only Live Twice'. It had to be Christmas.

That 4th Test is one of the great Ashes games. With Channel 9's "Got 'im, amaaazing" commentary it had everything: tons from Stewie and Steve Waugh; a blinding Mark Ramprakash catch with warpath celebration to match; Alan Mullaly hitting Glenn McGrath for consecutive boundaries; an inspired Darren Gough and Dean Headley's finest moment in an England shirt (6 for 60).

It boiled down to Australia needing just 175 to win and the now-fading VHS quality still shows the tension of that last session. Steve Waugh kept running out of partners but you knew, even with a raucous Barmy Army, the home side could still creep home. That is until until Deadly Headley gave England a 12-run victory.

Oh, and Nicholson took four wickets in the match. Unfortunately it was his only Test but he had played his part in a thriller.

Bermuda short fall?

Side-stepping the impending Ashes series for one moment, trouble looms on the lush island of Bermuda with the World Cup just months away now.

After Bermuda were soundly beaten 3-0 by Kenya in a recent ODI series, Cricinfo gave its verdict this week on Gus Logie's troops and it wasn't all that positive. In response, the Royal Gazette, the island's top newspaper, gave its impression of a "scathing written attack" by its managing editor, Martin Williamson.

It is anything but scathing in reality. The article actually gives nothing new away; namely that huge investment has gone into the national squad, rifts lie within the administration and the team has shown little improvement. There's truth also in Bermuda's heavyweight tag - and unfortunately that's not related to their cricketing skills.

Cricinfo suggests that certain players are carrying "excess baggage". One player who certainly carries weight is 19-stone Dwayne Leverock (above). The island policeman is Bermuda's main strike bowler and a pivotal figure in the squad. Full of character, he may not look international class but he often opens the bowling with his slow left-armers and turns in a degree of success at the same time. The rest of the squad looked in reasonable shape to me earlier this year, although it was hard to tell whether fitness to international standard was in place.

I saw the Bermudans when I covered the Legends Classic back in April and in the lead-up to the tournament there was criticism from newspaper columnists about Bermuda's participation in an over-35s tournament. The fact remains that the team needed matches under their belt, and after spending 10 days on the island and speaking to their players, I will certainly be rooting for Bermuda to perform during the World Cup and beyond. However there will always be its detractors when talk turns to how smaller ICC teams can cope at international level. With considerable investment behind them they will come under the microscope, especially as this will also be Bermuda's first foray into a World Cup.

Let's just hope they give the 64,000 population something to cheer about next March and not disappear out of the Caribbean faster than the Bermuda's Triangle myth.

Sportacus strikes...

Carrying on from today's earlier Sportacus post below, this just in. It seems that the superhero has struck already!

Two Indian schoolboys have shared an unbeaten 721-run stand, breaking the schools cricket record set by Sachin Tendulkar and Vinod Kambi, the Press Trust of India have reported. B Manoj Kumar and Mohamed Shaibaaz, playing in an under-13's tournament in Hyderabad, got triple centuries for St. Peter's High School against St. Phillip's High School to beat the previous 664-run mark, PTI said. Opening the innings, Manoj cracked 320 off 127 balls including 46 fours, as Shaibaaz smashed 324 including 67 boundaries. St. Phillips were dismissed for 21. Tendulkar and former India international Kambli racked up their partnership in 1987-88 for Shardashram School in Mumbai.

Sportacus to conquer Down Under?

As the Ashes looms, an international, sporty superhero is set to conquer the world. Last year it was Andrew Flintoff who set the world alight with his sub-human feats, this time it's Sportacus.

My wife tells me that the Nickelodeon programme has hooked kids. One friend can't even get her son away from the TV, while attempts to show comparisons with this new icon and England's captain (in a bid to get some reality) are fruitless.

Sportacus is a kid's phenomenon by all accounts. Created by aerobic champion Magnus Scheving (who plays the lead role and whose name sounds like a World's Strongest Man contestant), LazyTown, the Icelandic kids show which features the super hero, has been sold to 103 countries and premieres in Australia on 18 December; just in time to help out Australia's middle-order on Day 5 in Perth.

The Icelandic creator, who must have been inspired by the Bodyline players such is his moustache, says the show aims to educate children by way of entertainment. And why not: eating burgers apparently makes Sportacus sluggish, while there's nothing this health-conscious hero can't do when he's munching on fresh vegetables.

So, can both Ashes teams do the same again to prise away kids from TV sets and gain early interest in the sport?

Brisbane to Bollywood

Gentle introductions to tours are a thing of the past. Such is the ICC programme these days, England have been up against the likes of New South Wales before the first Test in Brisbane and several likely members of the Australian squad.

So, early psychological battles have started for the players and, according to Line and Length, witty exchanges have begun in the stands too.

With the ever-growing support for England in these warm-up games, the Fanatics have released their player songs for both squads. Download Six, Jugs and Rock 'n Roll here.

Keeping on the music theme, it looks as if Indian 'keeper Mahendra (Singh, ahem) Dhoni is keeping up his record for off-field appearances with a venture into Bollywood.

Dhoni, India's latest pin-up boy, is set to showcase his acting and dancing skills in singer Rani’s music video “Dil Ko Churaya Re”; no doubt his flexibility and athleticism through wicket-keeping will hold him in good stead amongst the Bollywood elite.

By(e) George!

A new cricket blog entered the fray this week. Co-written by a former colleague from the colony, today's entry has a right royal feel to it.

Sportnation's Royalometer post runs the rule over the England squad in its attempt to suggest whether the urn holders have "enough blue blood ... through their veins to reclaim a former glory."

The first to get the treatment is Marcus Trescothick, England's now-departed opener. Now we all wish Tresco well in his recovery but, given the mantle of King George III by Sportnation, there is a certain irony to his regal appointment given the (mad), depressive tendencies of Britain's former monarch.

His father, Frederick, Prince of Wales, actually has the ignominious statistic of being involved in one of the first cases of cricket injuries, dating as far back as 1751. Frederick was struck by a cricket ball to the head, which not only fatally injured him but is also thought to have brought about his death.

More positive posts tomorrow, but is this because I feel Tresco's international career is coming to a halt?

The Aussie Best In Show

It was like watching a scene when the dog owner accepts winning breed in Best In Show, the brilliant Crufts-style mockumentary.

As the ICC Trophy is handed over to Ricky Ponting (read Nutley's earlier post here), a menial conversation takes place between two Indian television presenters as they fill time by describing the final moments on the presentation stage in Mumbai...

"OK... the president of the Board of Control for Cricket in India being pushed. Boy, he's not going to like that too much at all."

Read the Sydney Morning Herald's version of events and you can watch the descriptive You Tube clip as India's cricket chief Sharad Pawar wanders off stage to give Australia some limelight. From an Indian persective, the Daily News has its own editorial.

Sunday semi round-up

England have yet to get a grip of themselves Down Under (what Freddie must be thinking as captain?), but at least the media have found some salvation in the form of Ian Bell and his growing confidence as a batsman.

The shorter game, of course, still eludes England. The really limited overs game saw England caught out as well as Dominic Cork's men were soundly thrashed in the Hong Kong Sixes yesterday... by the hosts.

If you are travelling to the Caribbean, I would take the Independent's advice and check out some of the sites of St Lucia over what could be some dour cricket played by England at the Beausejour Stadium.

News reaches Nutley of a leaked ICC document which sounded out Darrell Hair as the governing body's second best umpire before his controversial sacking.

Meanwhile, take a look at what England's movements will be this week, courtesy of Scyld Berry in the Sunday Telegraph.

Hong Kong... phooo-ey, another six

The only Ashes connection with today's post is England's stop-over on their way to Sydney. Perhaps that is where they should have stayed after today's performance in Canberra.

As it is, the team took their connecting flight via Hong Kong, where the annual sixes tournament take place this weekend.

Dominic Cork will lead England, under David Graveney's management, and they look to be favourites judging by the line-ups of some of the other participating squads. A look back through the archives suggests these five-over slogathons tend to go down to the wire. Take 1997, when Pakistan chased down England's 70-5.

In a tournament where tight bowling is key (no place for Saj Mahmood's confidence) skipper Adam Hollioake bowled his allotted one over last-up; England looking in control as Pakistan needed 17 from it. With Wasim Akram 30*, it fell to Zahoor Elahi to strike 4,4,6,4 before Hollioake bowled a wide to hand Pakistan a thrilling win. Anyway, catch all the weekend's action here.

**Matthew Hoggard is posting some video blogs to the Times this winter, and judging by the first few entries, these could prove entertaining if England start by winning the first few Tests.

He said what?

So what's your view on Ashes predictions from former players? Great for a quote as well as column inches, the series result is usually wrong (impassioned ex-England cricketers) while their player to watch has slumped in form.

However, every so often there comes a prediction from one former player with the opposition media gunning for reaction. So when former skipper Mike Gatting informed the world in 2003 that Australia were on the wane, with England a sure bet for a win the next time they toured Down Under (this series), it caused near quote heaven Down Under.

Plucked from the echelons of my favourites, I came across this link from the Sydney Morning Herald, written on the back of Gatt's column in The Observer. With views from most of the big guns, it is just a surprise that the incident did not make parliament, a theme highlighted by Patrick in Line and Length yesterday.

I suppose the debate will have to be finished on the pitch when the Legends Twenty20 match takes place in Perth next month.

Trophy tales; prison humour

Australia duly won their first ICC Champions Trophy in five attempts, but there was a small price to pay after they had trounced the West Indies.

Clearly agitated at the longevity of the trophy presentation, Australian players reportedly pushed Indian cricket chief Sharad Pawar off the presentation stage so they could pose with the trophy and get out of the ground. (If it had really got out of hand, Ricky Ponting could have ended up like the photo above.)

Not to be outdone, the Indian media went to town on the incident and it also prompted a quote from chief cricket selector Dilip Vengsarkar, who said: "You expect such behaviour from uneducated people. If they wanted to pose for photographs, they could have politely requested him.

Still on the ICC Trophy, click here for a highly entertaining Graeme Smith diary according to iafrica's Dan Nicholl. The entry for 19 October is the highlight:

"Ahmedabad is not my favourite place on earth, and we're here for a week. There's nothing to do, the food is awful, and Charl reckons that the hotel reminds him of when he was a prison warder. Everyone laughed at breakfast when he said that, except for Herschelle, who went very pale, and got up and left
without saying a word. He's been a bit quiet since he saw the police. Hope he's okay."

Remember, Remember...

November, and Australia seems awash with summer love at the moment.

Okay, England's cricketers slightly ruined the fun when they arrived in Sydney on Sunday to grey skies before they were whisked out of a side exit, but it didn't take long for rays of light to return to Kingsford Smith Airport when Kylie Minogue stepped through customs.

The pop princess and all-round national darling is back on tour this month in Brisbane, where the first Ashes Test takes place. Those five days will no doubt see thousands of fans with real moustaches, as it forms part of Movember, the annual 'grow a mo' to raise male cancer awareness. (A year ago, England's players decided on the same theme as part of a team-building ploy.)

However, the November fun really begins tomorrow when Australia grinds to a halt to watch horse racing's Melbourne Cup. On the equine theme, Nutley will be recalling the 1983 harness racing duel between Ian Botham and Dennis Lillee during this Ashes series. I had never heard of this contest before (has anyone else?) and sounded hilarious. Stay tuned!

Brisbane or Bus-t

Lacking tickets for the Ashes series? Can you pass off a Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson impression? The Brits somehow always manage to blag their way into sporting events, but this could top them all.

The Fanatics, Australia's equivalent to the Barmy Army, are giving 6-10 supporters the chance to earn their place on a specially-prepared Tour of Duty bus (above) for the entire Ashes trip. Only thing is, you have to be Australian.

The Fanatics website will next week release details on how to get on the bus, but in the meantime here's what you could be enjoying for the next two months according to their site:

"...tickets to the matches, some semi-cool Fanatics gear, token BBQ dinners, a few cold ones, the time of your life & hopefully a barn to sleep in on the way. We have radio, newspapers & tv stations lined up so it will be massive."

The art of spin

There aren't many sequels better than the original film, but then this is a cricket blog.

England's cricketers leave for Australia tomorrow and, if the Ashes does turn out to be better than last summer, then what price, I wonder, will be paid by the Royal Academy of Arts for a 'Monty' in future years?

Nutley's next competiton involves the picture I miraculously created on the right using this great link.

All you have to do is upload an image, or create your own photoshop one, to the museum canvass and the best 'work of art' will win prizes equal to the ones currently on offer in our picture caption competition as well. You can start emailing in your work now.

Familiar outcome; busy in Mohali

Glenn McGrath looked back to his probing best today. If only Vettori and Oram had taken the Kiwis to victory after a great fightback then England might have taken an early Ashes advantage, for what it's worth.

It's been a busy day in Mohali for one Indian media colleague. The ICC handed out some serious paperwork to the media today, so why not delve into several governing body-related pieces Harish has also written: Drugs, Umpire Hair and BCCI all covered. Then there's the Mohali match report.

Blowers, exclamation mark!

A great story reaches Nutley concerning the indefatigable Henry Blofeld, Test Match Special's commentator. Now I've watched countless James Bond movies in my time but never thought of linking evil, piranha-keeping Blofeld with cricket's own version.

According to this month's OSM, Bond creator Ian Fleming named the villain after Henry's dear-old dad. Says Blowers:

"My Papa and Ian had known each other at Eton. When Ian was working on the novel that would become Thunderball in the early Sixties, he wrote to Papa telling him that he had come up with a new villain, that he wanted to name him Blofeld and would he mind. Exclamation mark, exclamation mark! Papa thought it mildly amusing and wasn't in the least bit worried. Mind you, that was before any of the films had been made, so he had no idea how notorious Blofeld would become."

The days when England players cajoled around Australia (late night casinos with Kerry Packer, flying Tiger Moths) may be long gone, but what are the chances of Kevin Pietersen reliving the good times of Beefy, Gower and Lamby with some spear diving on the Gold Coast as pictured above?

Big Apple for India, Australia?

Are there too many ODIs played in the ICC's current schedule? What credibility the shorter game has is certainly curtailed when the likes of India and Pakistan start to play five-match series on a regular basis.

But the news that the Big Apple has been cited for the Indian cricket team to play a series of ODIs is an exciting one for the thousands of Indian ex-pats who now live in New York.

Read the exclusive piece here at Cricket World. What do you think? (UPDATE: link broken, go here instead)

As much as I feel the Champions Trophy a waste of time, I'm all for new venues being opened up in non-Test playing nations and the odd ICC-sanctioned ODI being played (take the recent DLF Cup in Kuala Lumpur). South America has a seemingly thriving cricket scene, European cricket is becoming increasingly popular and as much as the administration in America is frustrating, potential is there for further development in the game.

New York has always struck me as a great venue to play cricket. Word has it that many businessmen have tried to lure international teams there in the past, although the only real cricket of any substance to date has been the now-defunct Pro Cricket league a few years ago.

Ashes cricket set for media-rich content

With the media watching every move (Cricket Australia said 2000 applied for accreditation) and different forms of reporting being explored faster than a Brett Lee bouncer (after being hit for three boundaries in a row), let's look at some of the sites worth perusing during the jamboree Down Under.

It's amazing how I didn't notice cricket blogging last summer, but that's proved how popular the term has become and how addictive it can be if you have one; with the time difference working to the internet's advantage over written media this time around, it only looks set to continue.

Two sites which blogged throughout the last Ashes were first-stop shop The Corridor, written by Will Luke at Cricinfo, and The Ashes Blog, which re-enacts key moments in a Brisbane back garden to by-pass image copyright laws. Both top stuff.

Of the other blogs, The Times' line and Length is the best. Patrick Kidd also linked Nutley on one of his posts, so that's definitely worth its weight! Others worth a gander include King Cricket, the BBC's TMS Blog, Cricinfo's Tour Diaries and Aussie-written The Cricket Blog and Sportnation.

From the Aussie media view, Fox Sports and Sydney Morning Herald's The Tonk are the two most likely to provide creative and lively debate amongst both sets of supporters. Most of the UK's broadsheets will no doubt provide an Ashes Diary along the way: only The Independent's Stephen Brenkley seems to keep these off-beat type stories going on a regular basis.

On the new media side, The Analyst will be providing his short, concise Telegraph podcasts, while Cricket World will be featuring live audio and real time footage throughout the Ashes. Matthew Hoggard will be pesterng team-mates during his video diaries for the Times, while the BBC will be showing brief highlights after each day's play.

A Classic Gold Aussie radio station phoned a few of us up last summer for a breakfast link, so keep your eyes peeled here if they do the same again. BBQ Bob, the host, was a typically lively, early morning DJ. One colleague always seemed to get one over him though, especially when he said that Glenn McGrath falling over the ball and chain at Edgbaston was England's gain. So with this in mind, check out this site and each venue's local radio station to see if any Barmy Army fans have infiltrated the live phone-ins.

And of course, Nutley to Nagpur will be posting from Down Under!

Facts, stats and rugby tunes

I feel a return to form from Shahid Afridi today. Failing that, I've heard good things said about Jacob Oram. On a decent batting wicket in Mohali there should be some runs found from someone out there.

The PCA Stadium in Mohali is a well-built ground, although the concrete slab opposite the pavilion looks out of place. At least it gives a true reflection of how India goes about its architecture. Click here for some random facts.

Mohali neighbours Chandigarh and, as mentioned in yesterday's post, is home to Kapil Dev, the great all-rounder. The Haryana Hurricane (pictured) has his own boutique hotel-restaurant in the city; there are 10 rooms all named after his achievements like 'Tied Test' (India v Australia, 1986), '432' (World record Test wickets) and 'Four Sixes' (ask Eddie Hemmings).

*
A Nutley post from earlier this year:

"Chandigarh is reputed to have one of the largest rose gardens in Asia. There are road lanes, speed limits (of sorts) and the PCA stadium here resembles Hampshire's Rose Bowl. Even Jerusalem rang out over the tannoy before play today; all sweet memories of England. So it was even more of a comfort when I passed a local whose mobile ringtone rang out the BBC's Rugby Special theme tune."

Betting with balls in Mohali

Champions Trophy games move to Mohali this week, home of Kapil Dev and a memorable story involving a British punter caught betting online in the press box earlier this year.

During the second Test between England and India in March, a young British 'journalist' sat down in front of myself and the man from Wisden. His laptop was always half-closed although enough to show the Betfair website. I briefly chatted with him at tea being a fairly novice reporter abroad myself; he was shaking and I took it as rookie nerves, not betting ones.

On the second day, we watched as he was escorted out of the press box by stadium officials and into the hands of the television cameras; tipped off by the journalist who reported him in the first place. He attempted to leg it but found a dead end and so the barraging of questions began.

It emerged that he was 22-year-old Rajeev Mulchandani, an Oxford graduate turned professional gambler, who was rumoured to have won £21,000 over three days. After gaining media accreditation and the use of wi-fi access, it meant he was always one step ahead of the bookies.

Just before he was turfed out we put our mobile numbers on a piece of paper, which was circulated among the press box, for a party at the British High Commissioners that night. A genius idea from one Indian journo as it contained Mulchandani's name and number. Calls to his home in London ensued and stories all over the Indian media the next day. Mulchandani - I'll never forget the name.

Click here to read how events unfolded further.

Bodyline goes big-budget

At last! Soon, my Hindi copy of Lagaan might not be the only cricket-related DVD in my collection.

According to the Herald Sun, a search is under way to find an actor to play Don Bradman in a big-budget version of the infamous 1932/33 Bodyline series. Former Aussie Test stars will be hired to help out in perfecting the resulting actor's Don-like technique. Russell Crowe has been touted to play Australian skipper Bill Woodfull, while ex-Neighbours hottie Holly Valance will play Bradman's wife and no doubt use her own bodyline for box office appeal.

'The Bloody Ashes' is being produced by Matthew Vaughn, who was behind the smash hit Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Expect plenty of slow-motion beamers, Vinnie Jones sledging at first slip and The Guv'nor chomping on fat cigars from the MCG member seats.

To get the authentic brylcreem look, I also expect the English team to be fronted up by Toby Stephens and Damian Lewis, with Colin Firth as team manager or all-rounder depending on how much weight he loses for the part.

Are you in for Plug 'n' Play?

Two cracking games. Pakistan and Sri Lanka finally gave some life into this Champions Trophy yesterday; Australia and West Indies have also shown the ICC that there is a tournament to play for.

But with Christmas around the corner, it was a link to an interactive cricket game I have been drawn to. Now this either looks like hours of fun or £40 consigned to a dusty cupboard.

At first, I couldn't seem to make out the logistics of Plug 'n' Play, which sounded more akin to Axl Rose's children. Maybe it was how the review was written, maybe I read it as Jerome Taylor was grabbing his hat-trick, I don't know.

Money well spent or keep to the Christmas cricket books?

Who to drop from England 'dream' XI?

Freddie Flintoff's 100th ODI match against India raised an interesting 12-man team of capped England centurions in the shorter game. I haven't really put that much thought into it as it's only ODI's and England are suspect anyway, but here goes. Actual capped matches are in brackets:

1. Trescothick (123)
2. Gooch (125) C
3. Knight (100)
4. Lamb (122)
5. Botham (116)
6. Hick (120)
7. Collingwood (101)
8. Flintoff (100)
9. Stewart (170) W-k
10. DeFreitas (103)
11. Gough (158)
ICC's defunct, silly super-sub: Gower (114)

It's actually quite hard to get the balance. Is Flintoff batting too low? Should Gower be left out, although Hick can add some spin? Is Gooch the right captain? Does the top-order work? Will anyone ever get to 200 caps like most other int'l teams? What do you think?

Cricketers in hotel mix-up

Strauss calls the tune, Onions brings tears to Kent, Re-Joyce for Middlesex. All good player headlines for today's sub-editor, but how newsrooms early last century must have wished for something special during Jack Crapp's short England career, born this weekend in 1912.

However it is this gem from Cricinfo which he will be more fondly remembered... "When Crapp reported to the front desk, he was asked "Bed sir?" Presuming he had been mistaken for Alec Bedser, he replied, "No, Crapp." The receptionist duly directed him to the first door on the right."

There are some classic cricket anecdotes out there. Add all the sledgings from over the years and it amounts to a sport which is untouched from others in terms of characters, humour and, er, quips like Crapps.

Cricket makes characters too. Graham Gooch was a shy lad when he first joined the Essex dressing room; now he can mix it with the best of them. Here's another hotel anecdote from Goochie:

"We came to the Taj Hotel during one tour and I was sharing with Derek Underwood. We had flown in quite early and a practise session had been fixed for that afternoon, so most players got in some sleep beforehand.

"In those days you had to ring down for any orders, and of course not everything worked perfectly, even though the Taj was the best hotel there. Anyway, we were eventually able to order tea for two for around ten o’clock, which then never arrived.

"We never thought anything of it and after a joke we both went to sleep. We were due to get up at about two when there also happened to be a knock at the door. I opened up and there were four waiters outside, each holding huge trays with beautiful cups on each one.

"They all marched in and said: "Here sir, tea for ten at two!"

I read in Goochie's autobiography the same kind of story involving a Caribbean taxi company and 10 cars turning up, but with all those cricket dinners to attend, I suppose it's how you tell 'em.

Anymore out there?

The right stadium to choose

There is a hotel in Mumbai which houses one of the best views of the bustling, chaotic city. The Ambassador is situated just off Marine Drive and overlooks the CCI Brabourne stadium (below), host to the Champions Trophy Final.

I stayed there in March on England's tour and didn't actually recognise it from the outside (right) - perhaps just saying "oil refinery, please" to a taxi driver would have sufficed - but it still retains its 70s charm and character inside.

On top of the hotel's 'refinery' sits the 360° Pearl of the Orient restaurant; look up the coast to the imposing, politically-built Wankhede Stadium, while just below on the other side is the CCI. If I was ticketless for the Final, eating a Chinese in the restaurant would be the next best thing, although if you are a CCI member, it is possible to watch from your bed inside the ground.

*
Speaking of oil, Christopher Martin-Jenkins has had his spills in India too. 30-odd years ago, a spritely CMJ jumped into a taxi and ordered: "All India Radio." A couple of hours later he found himself by a refinery in the middle of nowhere. "Oil India, sir," replied the driver.

Sachin's other role

With cricket news in short supply - even with the ICC Champions Trophy - let's focus on Sachin Tendulkar's return to the India side and two clips which might be a reason for his technical brilliance at the crease.

Click on Sachin making a mockery of opposition bowling with his skills or Sachin pulling himself back into form. They're both really rather good.

Elsewhere, read how David 'Bumble' Lloyd's dad is still entertaining folk up north - at the age of 93.

Fever evokes painful snail memories

A deadly threat is hanging over the world's top cricketers in New Delhi, and for once it is not the force of Grievous Bodily Harmison. To date, 55 people have died in India (22 in Delhi) after an outbreak of dengue fever across the region.

Although there is no effective vaccine to cure the fever, the ICC have sought medical advice and told players to take precautions against the aedes mosquito, which bites during the heat of the day. As a result, players have been seen coming down to meals in long-sleeved clothing covered in repellent.

I doubt whether players are on malarial tablets too. My wife and I risked the wrath of this recently in India to be free from random dreams and weird thoughts that some anti-malarial's produce, and we are still living very happily.

I haven't been so lucky in the past. I picked up Bilharzia (a friend thought it was a bloke) in Malawi a few years back which also managed to make it into FHM's top 50 worst diseases. This was the only good thing to come out of it as - block your eyes - a nasty parasite enters the skin and starts making a family. These 1cm worms (diagram procedure pictured) feed on red blood cells in your stomach and generally make life a misery. My mate got another form of it, Katayama's fever, and ended up with spots all over him and a front page photo in the Norwich hospital rag.

Do you know of any worse diseases out there which cricketers' would be better off without?

Political pawns, late nights

When Toiletgate first emerged in the news recently, my first thought was George Michael, let alone an important chess match. Since then I have been glued to events unfolding in southern Russia, where the $1m world championships are being held between Veselin Topalov, a Bulgarian, and Vladimir Kramnik, a Russian.

In events not too dissimilar to the Oval fiasco, the Bulgarian's manager started the dispute when he claimed that the Russian made too many visits to his personal toilet during one of the best of 12 games. The Russian's toilet was subsequently locked, the governing body's committee saw fit for Kramnik to forfeit the game, he protested and then his toilet was reinstated - all this while the Chess Federation president was away at a conference hosted by Vladimir Putin. How can you focus when all that's gone on? (except on the toilet).

All the former Grand Masters (Kasparov and Britain's music teacher lookalike Nigel Short) thought he would abandon the match. But a hasty call from Putin changed events and put Kramnik back to the table; mirroring events in 1972 when Henry Kissinger urged the reclusive Bobby Fischer not to abandon his match with Boris Spassky.

And, as the match gets into its last stages, if one manager is at it then why not involve two; Kramnik's manager has since claimed that the Bulgarians were planning to plant a microchip in the Russian's toilet. Love it.

NOTE: These chain of events are not as confusing as Adam and Joe's excellent quizzlestick.

**
With the late night shenanigans in southern Russia, it would only be fitting that the latest finish in ATP Tour history has been smashed. Germany's Benjamin Becker and Jiri Novak slugged it out until 3:24 am in Tokyo earlier this week.

Col Sanders to the rescue

Chris Gayle may be hitting form with the bat, but it is metaphors with the ball which could make for healthy (or unhealthy) reading over the coming Champions Trophy games.

If you thought waking up after an all-nighter on the sofa with a KFC family-sized bucket beside you was bad enough, spare a thought for Gayle, the spinner, if he turns in some 'finger lickin'' performances.

News reaches Nutley that KFC, the world's largest chain of chicken restaurants, have stepped in to replace Digicel as the team's sponsor thanks to the ICC's strict marketing rules during the tournament.

The US company, who also sponsor a Caribbean tournament, have gone on promotional overdrive as well. 50 lucky Indian winners will be given the chance to dine with Brian Lara et al. No doubt Lara will be regaling his quotes from earlier this week: "Very early in life, we tell our fathers that we want to play cricket for the West Indies, and the next thing we want is a box of KFC chicken."

Team-sized mega buckets at the ready.

Teams touch down for Trophy

As the teams arrive in India for the ICC Champions Trophy, there is the view that this tournament is actually quite important.

A few months ago the Trophy was an unwanted nuisance for England in their preparation for the Ashes. Now it's a serious pointer towards the World Cup side when Fletcher's men will fall at the Super Eight stages.

The last Champions Trophy in England was clearly a nuisance for its party-pooper organisers as well; just like the '99 World Cup when the ECB made chilly May its start date and Tony Blair set off damp squib fireworks.

Scheduled in September two years ago, few spectators made light of the cold weather, USA were playing and the highlight in the early stages was a frenetic pitch invasion by Aussie and Kiwi supporters trying to get to the middle without being caught.

And then there was the final. As run by run was chased down by the Windies, an England result was never in doubt until Browne and Bradshaw held off in the dark. If anything, the result and following scenes gave back to the West Indies supporters memories of when the Oval was packed with the Caribbean community and, more often than not, victory for their team.

Can the Windies retain the trophy?

Family ties

Hadlee - perhaps the most famous name in New Zealand sport after Tiger Woods' caddy. But before Richard came his father Walter, who died on Friday aged 91.

Walter was pivotal in the development of Kiwi cricket and who knows where the island may stand today in the ICC rankings if it weren't for the family name?

He captained New Zealand on a successful tour of England in 1949, when tours took six months and getting there took six weeks, before turning is attention to cricket administration and bringing up three sons who all played international cricket. Read more here.

Win! Win! Win!

THIS COMPETITION HAS NOW CLOSED. WINNER TO BE NAMED SHORTLY.
It's not long now until Monty Panesar picks his wits against Australia's batsmen and, more importantly, how he holds up in front of the baying crowds from the five Test venues.

With the first Test starting on 23 November, Nutley is giving one lucky reader the chance to win a superb selection of cricket prizes.

Bombay Brownwash DVD - England's 1993 tour to India
A signed Graham Gooch Ashes 2005 shirt
A signed mini-bat with Courtney Walsh, Gary Kirsten, Colin Croft
A Barmy DVD of England's 2005 tour to Pakistan

What is either Duncan Fletcher or Monty saying in the above photo?
Email your best answer and address to: nutleycomps@yahoo.co.uk
The closing date is 30 November and enter as many times as you like.

No sex please, just chill

World Cups may not always be memorable for fans on the field but off it, well, it depends how you use your time.

During the soccer World Cup in Germany, brothels in Berlin and Munich saw an active trade after thousands of foreign women infiltrated the country to use their skills.

Now, word reaches Nutley of the possible legalisation for sex workers during the two-month cricket jamboree in the Caribbean next March.

At least one Caribbean Community health minister has said that regions should consider registering prostitutes for the World Cup, although a quick search reveals that the islands will not welcome such activity.

Licensing for commercial work during the tournament surely means that accreditation is necessary; after all the media, sponsors and administators wear photo ID, so will the sex workers?

Ashes urns Aussies chance

"Aww, look mate, you might as well not bother taking it home"..."Don't go dropping the Ashes now, Freddie".

These are just a few of the likely brash Aussie comments following the news that the Ashes urn will form the centrepiece of a 94-day exhibition around Australia, starting on 21 October.

It will be only the third time that the urn has left cricket headquarters; it had previously disappointed the Aussie cricket fraternity four years ago when the poor thing had to undergo an x-ray prior to departure (feeble MCC excuse that one).

However the MCC have obviously put one over exhibition sponsors Travelex, who themselves may not have thought through the real tour itinerary or the lay of the land of its company's birthplace ... If Australia do manage to retain the Ashes then the media jokes would be far harder to take if the last museum stop had been Sydney, home of the last Test: the exhibition actually finishes Melbourne.

Any more likely Aussie comments out there?

Bindi for good luck

Good fortune plays a part in every cricketers' career. However, I will be relieved once this County Championship season finishes on Sunday.

In March I was out covering England's tour to India while Middlesex were in Mumbai for their pre-season tour. Skipper Ben Hutton and I took some time out to sample the hectic delights of the capital and ended up at Colaba market.

I decided to get on tape Ben haggling for DVDs and as this was happening a bloke came up and started putting a bindi on him for good luck. I asked him how many runs Ben would get this season and he replied 150, which we quickly made him turn into 1,500.

He was subsequently out with shingles for the majority of the season and only thanks to a recent ton against Yorkshire on my wedding day (you know it!) has his season tally progressed past the 400-run mark.

Sporting excuses

You've got to hand it to Charles Collymore, one of the agents interviewed as part of the BBC's Panorama investigation into bungs, tapping-up's and general football shenanigans.

His excuse that he made up everything he said to undercover 'agent' Knut auf dem Berge, a German UEFA-licensed coach, so he could sound out whether he was the real deal was comical.

It reminds me of a few other sporting exuses from recent times. At the 1998 Winter Olympics, Canada's Ross Regabliati was stripped of his gold medal after a drug test found traces of THC - the chemical in marijuana. Regabliati claimed the traces came from second-hand smoke he consumed while partying during a pre-Olympic bash. He promised to "change his lifestyle" and wear "a gas mask" to future celebrations.

The best though comes from Zambian tennis player Lighton Ndefwayl after losing to Musumba Bwayla. "My opponent is a stupid man and a hopeless player. He has a huge nose and is cross-eyed. Girls hate him. He beat me in a two-hour match because my jockstrap was too tight and because when he serves he farts and that made me lose the concentration for which I am famous throughout Zambia."

Hospitality and houseboats

Went to Kerala in India for our honeymoon - two weeks of bliss interspersed with serious eating and constant questions of whether we would like more.

The Keralans pride themselves on their food and general warmth and we have never eaten so much in 14 days. In the end we had to skip lunches, mainly after spending five days on the resort island pictured.

Bangaram forms one of the handful of Lakshadweep Islands in the Arabian Sea. No one I know had ever heard of it before we went and this was confirmed by the only guest on the island when we arrived. Englishman Jamie had spent five days on his own before we turned up. He wrote about his experiences here and called it 1 island, 1 guest, 37 staff. Lucky b&$3^&*, it's a dream headline...

Kerala also prides itself on two other truths: the backwaters on a houseboat are one truely memorable experience and the fact it has someone from its state playing for India - Sri Sreesanth is a lively bowler and a former national breakdancing champion.

Hitched

Off to get married this weekend and then spend two weeks in India, sampling food, culture and hammocks. When I got back from my stag weekend I had to go straight into the ball-tampering row suffering from cold sweats and a nervous stammer during my interviews. I will be citing plane delays if the same thing happens again.

Harper's and Hair

There has been a certain thrill of seeing cricket hit both front and back pages of the national press, as well as lead item on the broadcast channels. The media and public love a good shaming where cricket is concerned (just look at the top five cricketing controversies which always crop up).

And in the heat of the moment, words are said and burning effigies of the victim are photographed. As mentioned a few weeks ago here, we pointed you towards umpire Daryl Harper's own website. There was a comment there left by one irate fan (too damning it was eventually taken down) who clearly thought he was personally replying to the hapless other umpire caught up in the Oval fisaco.

Pedigree Hogg

With the news that Marston's, the ale brand made famous by IPA and Pedigree, has been appointed official beer of the England cricket team there can only be one player fit to lead the company to the Ashes and beyond.

In an advert fit for Hovis, you can just picture swing merchant Matthew Hoggard coming off the Dales, taking off his wellies and supping a nice pint of Pedigree in the local. The company will partner England in a three-year deal and Hoggard could be an integral part of the brand's Ashes campaign, if this familiar urn posture is anything to go by.

Better with age

Graham Gooch managed 6000 runs in his thirties and it looks like the former England captain's adage of "I just got better with age" has rubbed off on more recent county stalwarts. We've already heard about Graeme Hick in this column and now it's the turn of Surrey's Mark Ramprakash.

Not content with stripping off his shirt and waving it around his head in celebration earlier this year, he's only gone past 2,000 runs this season, which includes a triple ton. Amazing, but then speak to any of his colleagues (or read his diary from last year's campaign) and it is no surprise he has achieved the landmark at his age. Technically brilliant, he clearly still has the drive to succeed at the highest level.

Essex's 38-year-old Andy Flower is another who is in a rich vein of form having scored a big double ton recently, and what's to say one of these two won't hand out the same punishment in the fast-paced environment of the Twenty20 finals tomorrow?

Spinner's delight

Jim Laker's heroic 19-90 effort in the fourth Ashes Test was celebrated 50 years ago this week. The Lord's Taverners will also hold a special dinner on 18 September at the Savoy Hotel in London to commemorate Laker's feats - he had taken 20 wickets in the three previous games as well - and will be attended by some of the best spinners the world has seen.

The organisers have invited five of the six surviving Aussies who featured in Laker's Old Trafford match, while Shane Warne, Richie Benaud and Derek Underwood will also make appearances.

With Monty Panesar currently jumping for joy with England and Murali on the road to 700 wickets (what's to say he can't reach 1000), spinners are finally being recognised - the dinner a prelude to what could be a spinners' battle in the Ashes two months later.

Bricks and mortar

If I were lucky enough to own a property situated by a picturesque cricket green, preferably with a typical thatched pub nearby, I would be a happy man. Not so for one resident in the village of Shamley Green, Surrey.

Bungalow owner Michael Burgess has claimed that 24 roof tiles have been broken thanks to the club's bludgeoning batsmen. He has subsequently called in lawyers and wants the club to stop the onslaught onto his house.

Quite rightly, the club say that if you purchase a property in such a location you must be ready for the odd ball to land in your house. Club president Tony Hodgson stated: "'If you don't like klaxons and sirens, you don't move next to a fire station."

It reminds me of a story told by our Kiwi-obsessed Rugby Editor. "A ball was hit for six during a recent charity match and came screaming towards my wife who had her back turned to the game.

"Having seen a couple of balls come towards our direction just previous to this one, I kept an eye on the game just in case. This ball was heading directly towards the back of my wife's head, or so it seemed. I managed to to take three steps towards the ball and stuck my hand out, with a nice cool glass of Pimms in the other hand, to stop the ball from hitting her.

"People around saw what could have happened and after a few pats on the back I was still pretty gutted at what had transpired.

"I didn't catch the ball, spilt the Pimms and my wife was none the wiser."

The tale of two Dulka's

A few years ago a house went on sale in Dulka Road, in South London, close to where I am living.

The owner of number 10, Tom Gueterbock, had his change of address cards adorned with an image of the Little Master Sachin Tendulkar thanks to the familiar sounding name of his house number and street name.

Once he was settled it became something of a running joke for his mates to say: "We're going round Sachin's for dinner". Gueterbock even phoned up Wisden to gain some PR when it came to selling the house and subsequently there was massive interest from Indian ex-pats living in London.

This cute little story is contrasted with recent misgivings in the world of cricket blogs. Will Luke, a staffer with Cricinfo, has had to change the name of his blog from 'The Corridor of Uncertainty' to plain old 'The Corridor (a cricket blog)' after the owner of the trademarked former title, Andy Clark, got his lawyers onto him.

Heads up

"That's coming up towards us." No, it's not another South African fan's cry during Herschelle Gibbs' amazing knock against Australia, but close enough. This was the retort of Welsh commentator Edward Bevan after glamorgan batsman Richard Grant bludgeoned one towards the comms box during a Twenty20 match this week.

The ball smashed through the glass which cut the scorer's arm. "He [Byron Davies] being the true professional didn't move of course - he was keeping the score - but it came right through the window."

It reminds me of the Twenty20 World Classic which Nobok reported on back in April. Protea Steven Jack smashed an unbelievable ton off 40 balls, including four sixes which came within an inch each time of smashing my Bermudan colleagues laptop.

Monty's specs

One of the themes of the summer so far has been Monty Panesar's hapless fielding. The England spinner has been cheered and jeered in equal measure for his unerring ability to fumble the ball every time it heads in his direction.

But those who delight in Panesar's problems may soon be forced to look elsewhere for amusement - because the spinner's Northants physio Barry Goudriaan reckons he has found the solution.

No, not 24-hour fielding practice - Goudriaan reckons the problem was simply that Panesar was wearing the wrong contact lenses. He was issued with a new prescription after the Lord's Test and now, three weeks later, his eyes should be fully adjusted to the change of lens.

Nobok is keeping a close eye on Panesar to see whether the new lenses really do the trick. He did ok on the rare occasions he was needed in the first session of the day, but we'll keep you updated on whether this was a flash in the pan or not...

Let the battle commence

The Ashes battle has begun already... off the pitch that is, in the fans' quest to secure tickets for this winter. With jammed phone lines and web browsers freezing, around 180,000 tickets were snapped up as Cricket Australia (CA) released a minimum 635,000 tickets on the web and phones, for the 'Australian Cricket Family' out of the 720,000 available.

Aussie forums have been quick to show their irritation at the apparent ease in which Pom fans have secured their tickets (CA's qualification process meant fans had to provide a valid Australian postal address, but it seems Brits have got round that obstacle). A quick call to a mate in Sydney confirmed that the Poms have already caused stress to the Aussie cricket fraternity, while four days have sold out at the SCG and 20 fans even queued outside one outlet from 6am to be told that it was web and phone only.

With fans breaking records in their bid to secure tickets - this series is already set to be one hell of a sequel to last year's events.

Going to the heights

Today's cricket page asks "Who was the greatest all-rounder?". While we will be getting the views of Garry Sobers this week on the current crop, there could soon be one addition to England's ranks. Stuart Broad, son of England's former opener Chris, has been making inroads at Leicestershire: 45 wickets in his 15 matches and a steady left-handed batsman to boot.

And it's not only his worth with bat and ball... he's a tall chap too. Last year it was Essex's Will Jefferson, a shade over 6ft 10, who was being banded as a future England player, then it was Chris Tremlett at 6ft 7.

It is thought that Broad could reach a height of 6ft 8, which would make him the equal tallest man to play Test cricket; Joel Garner performed at that height for his 58 Test for the West Indies. Incidentally, the smallest to play internationally, are thought to be a Fiji pair at 5ft 1, while the heaviest with Derbyshire's W. Foulke at 25 stone.

Super Sopper stopper

Saturday was a frustrating day for fans at Edgbaston, with the heavens opening just five minutes before the scheduled start of play and no action possible until 4.45pm.
Such was the state of the outfield at lunchtime that most of the boys in the press box were plotting an early getaway but, just a few hours later, the field of play had been rendered immaculate.

For that, we have to thank the miracle that is the Super Sopper. The inventor, Gordon Withnall, came up with the idea in 1974 while trudging around a waterlogged golf course in his native Australia. The first motorised machines followed in 1979, following a special order from the MCG.

The most powerful Super Sopper model is the Whale, which the manufacturers claim can pick up and pump away more than 7,000 gallons of water per hour. It comes equipped with a 25hp petrol engine and a 66 gallon holding tank. But perhaps the most impressive statistic is that, despite its size and bulk, the Whale exerts actual surface pressure of only 5 to 6 pounds per square inch, meaning no damage is done to the ground.

So there you go - everything you ever wanted to know about the Super Sopper but were too afraid to ask...

Old Boy reunions

The cricket desk at work was invited to Chelsea legend Chopper Harris' Golf Day a few weeks ago.

Nothing knew being invited to something I hear you say, but it's who I ended up playing with that's noteworthy.

A friend and I were paired with Barry, a die hard Chelsea fan who attends most club-related events. It transpired at the 19th that Barry's partner worked at Downing Street for the Prime Minister, which was as close as we had got to knowing someone in government.

So when our football editor phoned me up to take a look at page 17 of the Daily Mirror a few weeks later, it felt like we had been involved in a classic bit of Fleet Street sleaze after spending the day with him.

For Barry was none other than the broken-hearted boyfriend of John Prescott's diary secretary, who the deputy PM was having an affair.

Hair today

If Warney thought he might get a quiet summer with Hampshire before the Ashes campaign, he has been sorely mistaken. Nobok's No.2 cricket legend has been in the news again, but this time for his hair-loss treatment ads, which were found to be in breach of British advertising industry rules.

The Hampshire skipper's image appeared beneath a headline reading: "Advanced Hair, Yeah, Yeah!", followed by the phrase: "Warnie, Warnie, Warnie." The 36-year-old was quoted as saying: "I've been hearing it for years but to me I've always taken it as a warning. And that warning was that if I didn't do something about my hair loss they may well have been chanting 'Baldy'!" However, the standards watchdog concluded that the ads had over-used the rules against celebrity endorsement.